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Cockroach milk is a thing, and it makes us want to die

Justina Huddleston is an editor and the head writer for TDmonthly Magazine. She has been a freelance writer for several years, though her real passion is cooking. You can see the recipes she creates on her vegan food blog, A Life of Litt...

We can't wait to find out how they're going to market this cow's milk alternative

There is a lot of horrible stuff going on in the world currently. But though, in the face of tragedy, I can maintain hope for the human race, the concept of drinking milk from cockroaches makes me want to throw up my hands and move to the moon. Alone.

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Scientists have determined that a species of lactating cockroach (the term "lactating cockroach" alone makes me want to vom) produces milk that can be consumed by humans. I'll give you a moment while you figure out how to process that horrifying information.

My first question is, which disturbed scientist first thought about drinking a cold, refreshing glass of cockroach milk? Like, if I saw a cockroach lactate (barf), my first thought wouldn't be "yum," it would be "kill it with fire!"

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My second question is, why? Sure, cockroach milk contains all the essential amino acids, and yes, they've figured out how to grow it in a lab, sans-roach. And apparently it could make a really great protein supplement. But still... It came from a cockroach, one of the nastiest insects around. I would rather get my protein from almost anything else. And if you're really concerned about sustainability issues and the ethics of drinking cow's milk, there are other alternatives already: pea protein, soy protein, nuts and seeds. There is no reason to jump straight to lactating roaches!

The roach milk is still being studied, so it's not a sure thing that you'll be having Pacific beetle cockroach milk and cookies anytime soon. But when the time comes, you heard it here first: This is a terrible idea.

More: Kickstarter campaign encourages us to incorporate insects into our diet

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