When I first heard about Doritos Ketchup Roses — a beautiful bouquet of ketchup chips delicately arranged like rose petals on fake flower stems that the company promised to bring to your door on Valentine's Day — I could barely contain my excitement. I eagerly clicked through the Doritos Ketchup Roses site, hoping to somehow get my hands on one of these salty bouquets, which had sold out within hours.
But then my desire to greedily devour a gorgeous bouquet of a dozen chip roses turned to hanger when I realized that Doritos was marketing these bouquets using a totally sexist '70s spoof of an ad that completely ignores the fact that women like to eat junk food too.
The video starts off by saying, "This Valentine's Day, boldly declare your love with something he loves: Doritos Ketchup Roses."
The only hint that women love Doritos too comes when some chip grease gets on a woman's boyfriend's face. She daintily takes her finger and swipes it off his cheek, then seductively licks the oily ketchup-flavoured powder off her finger as some text declares, "She loves these."
Doritos majorly misses an advertising opportunity by failing to market these bouquets to women, while it reduces us to nothing more than sexy chip servants patiently hoping some grease will collect on our men's faces so we can lick it off.
Come on, Doritos, it's 2016, and as a woman who's been loyally buying your chips ever since I could pinch together enough quarters from my allowance as a little girl, I'm disappointed.
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