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If Disney princesses could drink, these would be their go-to cocktails

Theresa Edwards

by

Shark Wrestler

Theresa Edwards is a freelance writer and professional whiner. She lives in Dallas, Texas with her family where she enjoys reading, roller derby, and complaining about the heat.

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Even a refined, regal princess needs a little something at the end of the day.

We've seen Disney princesses reimagined in every possible way. As '90s teens, as real-bodied women and genderbent — the list goes on and on.

Let's be honest here. If Disney princesses were realistic, they'd definitely be drinking.

Princess: Snow White

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Good-natured, long-suffering, animal telepathy

Signature drink: A pitcher of caramel apple sangria

Some days Snow White's generous nature will compel her to share her pitcher of boozy deliciousness with the dwarves. Other days, when they just assume she has nothing better to do all day than wash all their stupid dishes, she'll chug the whole thing herself.

Princess: Cinderella

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Patient, tenacious, has excellent bone structure in her feet

Signature drink: Rob Roy

Cinderella is your classic '50s day drinker. She'll church it up with sweet vermouth, but she starts early and sips often.

Princess: Aurora

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Cheerful, courageous, extremely heavy sleeper

Signature drink: Mimosa

My grandmother once told me that if it has orange juice, it's suitable with breakfast. Since Aurora has breakfast at odd times of the day, this is perfect for her.

Princess: Ariel

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Open-minded, joie de vivre, excellent taste in bras

Signature drink: Sex on the Beach

Stop groaning. I really grappled with being this corny, but think about it. Ariel is young, naive and desperate to be like the party people up on the sand, so you just know she's going full freshman and ordering this sugar bomb, then sticking with it forever.

Princess: Belle

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Intelligent, empathetic, really great at walking without watching where she's going

Signature drink: Black Velvet

This mix of Guinness and Champagne is perfect for bookworms and sums up the relationship she has with Beast perfectly. A little grimy, a little bubbly, fancy when it needs to be, plebeian when it doesn't. Plus, it's always effective.

Princess: Jasmine

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Rebellious, independent, can actually pull off harem pants

Signature drink: Flying Carpet

Above all, Jasmine is brave. Brave enough to mix advocaat and banana liqueur and live to tell the tale.

Princess: Mulan

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Brave, strong, can drop a man at 10 paces with nothing but a slipper

Signature drink: Ginger beer fizz

Mulan doesn't have time to sit around waiting for the blender to stop spinning on some froufrou glorified Slurpee. But she indulges only once in a while, so when she does hit the bar, she makes it count.

Princess: Tiana

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Hard-working, ambitious, excellent control over her Charlotte La Bouff-slapping reflex

Signature drink: Ramos fizz

Tiana's going to keep it classy while she wraps up the side work at her restaurant (you just know she doesn't trust the servers to do it right). She'll probably even make it herself — a ritual treat at the end of a long day that was more productive than most people's entire weeks.

Princess: Rapunzel

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Innocence, energetic, magical hair

Signature drink: Any flavored shooter

Chocolate Cake? Buttery Nipple? Watermelon Jolly Rancher? The 'Punz loves them all, in rapid succession, while standing on top of the bar at the Fluffy Duckling with no shoes on, shouting at Eugene to loosen up a little.

Princess: Merida

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Conviction, independence, trick-shot archery

Signature drink: Glenfiddich. Neat.

Excuse the cliché, but can you really see Merida sipping on anything else? Plus, you know this is her bottle of the good stuff, and if you want some, you need to get right onto your little boat and get your own.

Princess: Anna

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Self-sufficiency, trusting heart, skilled at sliding down banisters

Signature drink: Dirty snowman

Anna is that friend you have that refuses to drink alcohol unless all the alcohol flavors have been masked by other, more delicious flavors. In this case, it's hot chocolate. I can just imagine her snuggling up to Oaken's family in the sauna with one of these in her hand. Yoo-hoo!

Princess Queen: Elsa

Because everyone needs a signature cocktail, including Disney princesses

Traits: Self-sacrificing, great hair, can shoot icicles from her fingertips

Signature drink: Hot toddy

Elsa might not mind the cold, but she can appreciate a little bit of warm whiskey to remind her that true love comes from a warm heart. Or maybe it just comes from whiskey.

All images: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows

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