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What your favorite chain restaurant says about you

Theresa Edwards

by

Shark Wrestler

Theresa Edwards is a freelance writer and professional whiner. She lives in Dallas, Texas with her family where she enjoys reading, roller derby, and complaining about the heat.

Here's what your go-to eatery says about your personality

What we eat says a lot about who we are. What does your penchant for Olive Garden's breadsticks or Outback's Bloomin' Onion say about you?

1. Olive Garden

Here's what your go-to eatery says about your personality

Image: Giphy

You overpronounce words like orecchiette and risotto and call pants "slacks." You clip lots of coupons, but especially coupons for free appetizers at Olive Garden, which you use in combination with the endless salad and breadsticks lunch special after you bum a ride to the OG from Sharon in accounting.

2. Waffle House

Here's what your go-to eatery says about your personality

Image: Giphy

You took all-state honors in 4-H when you showed your Hereford calf, Redford, back in 2002. You drink coffee black even though you don't like it, and you preface a lot of sentences with "I'm not trying to be rude, but..." Alternatively, "The Bad Touch" comes on the radio, and you've got a craving for covered, smothered hash browns.

3. Applebee's

Here's what your go-to eatery says about your personality

Image: GIF Soup

You call your spouse whatever your kids call them. You have a real stake in the Miracle Whip versus mayonnaise debate and are in at least one recreational league. Probably bowling. You either have a bedazzled jean jacket or a phone case that you rhinestoned yourself. You don't really like red wine.

4. Outback

Here's what your go-to eatery says about your personality

Image: Giphy

You were extremely excited when '90s fashion started coming back around. Your favorite movie is probably Underworld, and you really miss college. You have tried — and failed — to make a Bloomin' Onion at home, and keep forgetting to "curb alert" your FryDaddy on Craigslist. You do unsolicited celebrity impressions and drive a Ford Fiesta. It's green.

5. Chipotle

Here's what your go-to eatery says about your personality

Image: Giphy

You say that Ruth Bader Ginsburg is your hero, but your heart belongs to Gwyneth Paltrow. You've named your future daughter Persephone, and you plan on baby-wearing. While you don't really understand Damien Hirst, if anyone asks, you tell them he's your favorite artist, and The One Thing You Will Never Tell Anyone is that your dream car is a Honda Pilot.

6. Red Lobster

Here's what your go-to eatery says about your personality

Image: Giphy

The rest of the year is really just a ceaseless churning of banality as you wait for Endless Shrimp to come around again, and you will death stare anyone who dares mock the sacred occasion. You love Robert Frost and would rather drink tepid Sanka than go to Starbucks if there's no Dunkin' Donuts around. You wish there was an app that helped you keep you track of what teeth your kids have lost, and call your parents by their first names.

7. Bennigan's

Here's what your go-to eatery says about your personality

Image: Imgur

You are either a person who has been trapped in an underground bunker for the past six years, a ghost reading this from beyond the grave or a resident of Borger, Texas.

More on favorite restaurants

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