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You can buy Blue Bell ice cream online (but you probably shouldn't)

Theresa Edwards

by

Shark Wrestler

Theresa Edwards is a freelance writer and professional whiner. She lives in Dallas, Texas with her family where she enjoys reading, roller derby, and complaining about the heat.

Buying black market Blue Bell ice cream from strangers online is probably not a good idea

The question isn't, "Are you desperate for Blue Bell ice cream?" Because of course you are. We all are.

The question is, "How desperate are you for Blue Bell ice cream?" Desperate enough to pay 10 grand for it? From some rando on Craigslist?

Some people are banking on people being just that desperate, and the proof is in the multiple posts advertising gallons of pre-recall, half-eaten Blue Bell, offered for exorbitant prices.

If you're just now joining us, then here's a quick refresher: Every last frozen item Blue Bell makes was voluntarily pulled off the shelves nationwide when a bacteria called listeria kept popping up in tests. The bacteria causes fever, diarrhea and, in some cases, death. So now we have no choice but to wait with bated breath until the delicious dairy treat is available to us again.

Or do we?

Enterprising Texans everywhere have taken to America's most reputable source for used couches and casual sex to sell some illicit dairy product.

Here's some Krazy Kookie Dough, which, while undoubtedly a delicious flavor, is not worth the $10,000 it's going for. But that's just one person's opinion.

Buying black market Blue Bell ice cream from strangers online is probably not a good idea

Image: Craigslist

Or perhaps some plain old vanilla is more your style. If it is, why not fork over the $2,000 to $4,000 necessary to get some random family's sloppy seconds they started eating almost half a year ago.

Buying black market Blue Bell ice cream from strangers online is probably not a good idea

Image: Craigslist

Buying black market Blue Bell ice cream from strangers online is probably not a good idea

Image: Craigslist

Another flavor, Caramel Turtle Cheesecake, can be yours for only $10,000! And it's got only one bowl missing! So really, they're practically giving it away.

Buying black market Blue Bell ice cream from strangers online is probably not a good idea

Image: Craigslist

Listen. There are a lot of really great things you can purchase on Craigslist. Someone's Ikea side table, lightly scratched and missing a pull knob. A bag of yarn scraps. Someone to haul all the carpet remnants you pulled out of your spare bedroom. A non-functioning propane grill (and accessories!). You get the picture.

Food is not a great thing to buy on Craigslist. More to the point, half-eaten, freezer-burned, months-old, pre-diarrhea plague ice cream is really not a great thing to buy on Craigslist. Especially considering the fact that new information has come to light that suggests Blue Bell may have known about the contaminated product as far back as 2013. Even Blue Bell thinks it's a terrible idea, and its website warns people to just throw away any old product they may have.

We all just have to wait until Blue Bell products return to stores. Yes, it's going to be tough in the interim, but we all need to suck it up, eat some other ice cream like Dreyer's or make our own. Whatever you do, don't fork over thousands of dollars on questionable dairy products from questionable sources on Craigslist.

More on ice cream

How to make your own ice cream
Plan a grown-up ice cream social
Wine ice cream is the best new way to get your buzz on

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