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10 Most awkward Valentine's Day conversation hearts ever

Justina Huddleston is an editor and the head writer for TDmonthly Magazine. She has been a freelance writer for several years, though her real passion is cooking. You can see the recipes she creates on her vegan food blog, A Life of Litt...

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Love it or hate it, Valentine's Day is almost here.

Whether you're trying to repel an unwanted suitor, cut a date short or just want to practice your best evil laugh after doling these out to your friends, awkward conversation hearts like the ones below are perfect for ruining anyone's Valentine's Day.

1. "It's not herpes"

These charming hearts range from the mildly uninterested ("Blerg") to the downright perplexing ("It's not herpes" — so, what exactly is it, then?). Try any of these on your current crush, and you might be in for an awakening even ruder than these phrases.

2. "Ur adopted"

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Image: KKCB

Hmm... Revealing to your date they're adopted, implying they need a breath mint and, of course, telling them their butt stinks are all surefire ways to kill the mood this Valentine's Day.

3. "That's what she said"

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Image: Annie's Eats

These cookies might be fine for a friend, but if you're baking them to woo a suitor, they might be a little risky. Don't hide behind humor because you're too scared to show your real feelings.

4. "I will cut you"

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Image: Etsy

This awkward necklace is the perfect gift for your frenemies... or, let's face it, straight-up enemies. Kill 'em with sort-of kindness. (I mean, you're technically giving them jewelry, after all.)

5. "Hell no"

Date not going so well? Keep one of these in your purse to hand out when the small talk starts to get rough. If you say it with icing, it's not that mean, right?

6. "Size does matter"

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Image: Queenie Cakes

I can't imagine a situation in which these cakes would be an appropriate Valentine's Day gift — unless your date is a baker known for making minuscule treats. When it comes to frosted carbs, size really does matter.

7. "You'll do"

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Image: Mmmcrafts

How to make sure your date knows you're settling: this not-so-subtle card.

8. "CELEB8 THX2U"

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Image: Despair Inc.

This set of "Dumped Bittersweets" includes sayings like "Used U 4 fun," "Kiss a frog" and "Forget we met." The perfect gift to give your ex during a really, really bad breakup.

9. "Kiss off"

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Image: Etsy

This cross-stitch is one of those weird I-hate-you gifts that actually takes a lot of time and thought to execute. Perhaps best saved for frenemies (who may at least appreciate your handiwork), these decidedly not-nice convo hearts are a far cry from the chalky candies you're used to.

10. "Die in a fire"

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Image: Not So Humble Pie

The harshest of the bunch, this cookie will definitely kill the conversation between you and any potential suitor. At least the death wish comes with a treat, so they can eat their feelings of despair after you lay your true feelings on the table.

More Valentine's Day fun

10 Party ideas for single ladies on Valentine's Day
12 Reasons I'm spending Valentine's Day with Netflix
16 Valentine's Day candy hearts that say what we're really thinking

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