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by Justina Huddleston
by Karen Miner
Karen Miner is the Food & Home Editor for SheKnows. She is a freelance writer, recipe developer and is also the cook, author and photographer behind the food blog, Tasty Trials, a collection of original recipes and stories. She and her h...
C'mon, people. You can take 10 minutes and make the blue box. It's gotta be better than this.
Image: John Kannenberg/Flickr
I wasn't aware that germy clams were something I needed to be aware of. Noted.
"It's an amazing improvement in canned meat meals." Is it?
Image: Classic Film/Flickr
Why the jar?
I'm oddly drawn to the chocolate-covered super worms because my brain only sees "super chocolate." But you can have all the others.
Image: arbyreed/Flickr
Image: Michael Sauers/Flickr
Um, nope. Never mind.
Image: Arnold Gatilao/Flickr
This one's going on the list simply because I am against the purposeful misspelling of words. Also, I can't imagine that faux cheese sauce is incredibly delicious.
Nothing wrong with getting a fresh scoop at the deli counter, folks.
Image: amanda/Flickr
I mean, "fresh" hot dogs keep for a good six months, right? Imagine how long the canned version lasts. Put a dozen of these into your disaster kit, stat.
An actual Amazon customer question and answer:
Question: "Are these actual 'mashed' peas — kind of like if I blended whole peas in a blender? Thanks."
Answer: "So you have dense peas in a mash up of these same peas. It's the same idea as canned re-fried pinto beans — some beans for bean texture, and the rest mashed beans for flavor."
Real question: Why?
Image: Amazon
It starts out fairly promising...
Image: Tracy O'Connor/Flickr
But ends up looking like this. Pass.
Image: Tracy O'Connor/Flickr
You've got your white fungus. You've got your bird's nest. Of course you should make them into a drink.
Image: Bryan Bowden/Flickr
I’m calling your bluff on this one, Chef Boyardee. You can't just call any noodle-sauce-meat combo lasagna. I can see into that can. It's pasta with meat sauce at best.
The French typically know their stuff when it comes to cuisine, but I'm going to have to pass on this pigeon pâté. Something about eating the birds that hang out on my fence...
Image: Chris Goldberg/Flickr
The less fancy version of the above pâté.
Why do you have to ruin perfectly good bacon?
Image: Liza Lagman Sperl/Flickr
That might not be so bad. They actually look pretty tasty on that label.
Oh wait... This is how they really look? Never mind.
Image: Erik Abderhalden/Flickr
I just don't think I need sweet pork.
Image: Jamie/Flickr
The Candwich. For when you really can't muster the strength to slather two pieces of bread with peanut butter and jelly.
This was almost on the list of canned foods I would devour. But as much as I want unicorn superpowers and endless sparkles, I could never eat an actual unicorn. Sacrilege.
Image: Amazon
How disappointed would you be if the zombie apocalypse came and you realized all you had were cans of Twinkies? (Though they could definitely be counted on to last till the end of time.)
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