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2013 Met Gala: Punk or punked?

Kat Hobza resides in sunny Western Montana. She is the Senior Authoress Specializing in Sarcasm at www.funnyfreelance.com. Okay, she’s the only authoress at funny freelance. When she’s not formulating tongue-in-cheek ideas and content as...

Punk, loosely defined

Punk: Chaos to Couture was the theme of the 2013 Met Gala event. All the fair lads and lasses in the kingdom were invited, donning their punk best. Punk, as we are about to see, has several meanings. Here, we break down the various definitions of “punk” as it relates to the Met Gala fashion…
Beyonce
Beyoncé
Back in the 1800s, one of punk’s meanings was “Chinese incense.” We’re guessing that is the interpretation Queen B was going for with this dramatic Givenchy design. The leather bodice is consistent with “punk” as it pertains to “edgy,” but the rest of it has a bit of an oriental/costume-y flair to it. Still, this look is killer and we’d sell our firstborn for those boots. (Just kidding son, but seriously — look at those boots.)
Kate Upton
Kate Upton
Perhaps, when Kate Upton was invited to the Met Gala event, she misread the word “punk” and thought it said “punked,” meaning the butt of a practical joke. There is nothing terribly punkish about this look as the Gala intended, and Kate looks a bit like she didn’t get the memo. Or she misread the memo. But let’s be honest. It’s Kate Upton. She could show up in purple sweatsuit and look amazing.
Heidi Klum
Heidi Klum
We fear Heidi may have made the same mistake Kate did, for her dress looks more like something she’d walk down the aisle in during one of her many wedding vow renewal ceremonies with soon-to-be ex-husband Seal. We’re also not 100 percent sure what’s happening with the top of this dress — it looks as if Heidi borrowed it from a more buxom gal. Like Kate, Heidi could wear a flour sack and no one would care.
Kristen Stewart
Kristen Stewart
“Punk” is commonly used to describe a person who has a bad attitude. What is Kristen so freakin’ grumpy about? She’s one of the most successful actresses in Hollywood, she has a hot boyfriend (who took her back after she cheated on him!) and yet she typically looks pissed. If I were her mom, I’d come at her with, “Honey child, put a smile on your face. Life is good. Especially your life.”
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sarah Jessica Parker
Always one to rock the fashion boat, SJP does not disappoint with this ensemble. We’re guessing she went with the definition of “punk” that relates to fireworks (or more correctly the little stick you use to light fireworks). That is the only way we can explain the odd, decidedly otherwise-unpunkish headdress. You have got to be confident to rock a look like this, and say what you will, confidence is always sexy.
Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus
Can we get a “punk” bingo? For all of Miley’s recent odd behavior, the girl knows what punk means. She’s got the spiked hair, the black-push-the-envelope-almost-nude-fishnet dress. The only thing missing is a rip and maybe a large safety pin in her dress, but other than that she brought home “punk” as we believe the Met Gala intended it.

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Beyonce, Kate Upton, Kristen Stewart images courtesy Andres Otero/WENN.com
Miley Cyrus, Sarah Jessica Parker, Heidi Klum images courtesy Alberto Reyes/WENN.com

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