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Jon Hamm wants to keep his privates private

A celebrity gossip junky, Caroline Goddard has been writing entertainment news for longer than the world has known Kim Kardashian's name. Follow her on Twitter at @GoddardCaroline.

Respect Hamm's privacy!

Jon Hamm would prefer you stop talking about his giant trouser snake, please. No, really. Just stop. He's not kidding. Snicker.

Respect Hamm's privacy!

Poor Jon Hamm has the worst problem ever: People won't stop talking about his giant schlong. After word leaked that the Mad Men actor is being forced to don underwear in this season's tighter pants because his manhood was too distracting and a Tumblr called Jon Ham's Wang has risen in popularity, he has finally had enough. No, really — enough!

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Hamm pretended he is just sick of the entire discussion.

"Most of it's tongue-in-cheek," he told the mag. "But it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have — a prurience."

Jon Hamm's soft-core porn past revealed >>

"They're called 'privates' for a reason," he continued. "I'm wearing pants, for f***'s sake. Lay off. I mean, it's not like I'm a f***ing lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn't part of the deal... But whatever. I guess it's better than being called out for the opposite."

Nothing says "I'm serious about my privacy" more than talking about the thing you claim to want people to stop talking about. You know men, though, they never can stop talking about what's in their pants.

A source recently told the New York Daily News that Hamm's ham was causing issues with Mad Men marketing materials. "Imagine how distracting that would be on the side of a bus or building," said the insider. "When the promotional pictures came back the first few seasons, we had to work with them. Everyone was concerned about too much Christina Hendricks boob, but it's Jon that has the most to show. It's a good problem to have."

"His privates are the inside joke… [he] knows what he's got."

What he's got now is an entire Rolling Stone article about his so-called "privates." Well played, sir.

Image courtesy Apega/
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