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Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise: Stars notably absent from awards season

Kat Hobza resides in sunny Western Montana. She is the Senior Authoress Specializing in Sarcasm at www.funnyfreelance.com. Okay, she’s the only authoress at funny freelance. When she’s not formulating tongue-in-cheek ideas and content as...

So where are they?

In the blur of red carpets, coveted statues, tuxes, designer gowns and Fred Leighton jewelry, we’re struck by the notable absence of some of Hollywood’s biggest stars. Even if they don’t have a dog in the race, weren’t any of them invited to present? And if so, why did they pass? Here’s an update on Hollywood’s elite…

Brad Pitt Angelina JolieBrad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Just because this dynamic duo has been absent from the red carpet craze doesn’t mean they haven’t been making news. After the first of the year, the rumor mill went into overdrive, asking, “Did Brad and Angelina get married over the holidays?” Evidently, they didn’t. Or maybe they did. Do we even care anymore? All we care about is Angie hasn’t made an appearance on the red carpet, wearing one of her slit-to-there dresses and striking over-the-top-poses to the point of being ridiculed (we all remember when Jim Rash accepted his Academy Award in 2012 and mocked Angelina’s pose).

Photo credit: WENN.com

When tabloids get pissed at celebrities for not generating enticing headlines, they sometimes make them up. Star magazine is obviously annoyed that the only headline Angelina has made lately is in the British movie mag Total Film, where she said that her kids keep her grounded because she’s the one “who takes them to go poop.” In its Feb. 4 issue, Star magazine asks if Angie’s absence is due to another pregnancy. Yawn.

For his part, Brad is still on the red carpet in spirit. At the SAG awards, Ben Affleck told Access Hollywood, “If I could be somebody, I’d definitely be Brad Pitt.” Try not to take that the wrong way, Jennifer Garner.

Brad Pitt: Depression led to drug use >>

Tom CruiseTom Cruise

Has public humiliation over his latest divorce driven Tom Cruise underground? Nah. The New York Post recently reported that in Pulitzer Prize-winner Lawrence Wright’s book, Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood and the Prison of Belief, Tom Cruise has eradicated his personal inner alien, which we all purportedly possess, and whose purpose is to destroy the planet. So you can see why Tom’s been a little too busy to make a cursory visit to the red carpet this awards season. Someone has to save the planet!

Image courtesy Daniel Deme/WENN.com

Matthew McConaughey Camila AlvesMatthew McConaughey

Matthew McConaughey (who needs to take a McTrip to McDonald's and feed his McScrawny self) has been spotted on the red carpet for the premiere of his film Mud at the 2013 Sundance Film Festival, but with the exception of pit-stopping at the 18th Annual Critics' Choice Movie Awards, has thus far blown off awards season. Outside of a little gender confusion surrounding the latest addition to the McConaughey family (it was initially reported that Camila Alves had given birth to a girl on Dec. 28, 2012 when in actuality she had delivered a baby boy, Livingston), things have been pretty low-key for the parents of three.

Image courtesy Arnold Wells/WENN.com

Matthew McConaughey clears up the baby confusion >>

johnny-deppJohnny Depp

Having recently split with his girlfriend of a few months, Amber Heard, Johnny Depp may be skipping awards season to lick his wounds. After all, he did name a beach on his private island after Amber, and bought her a horse! Not only did The Lone Ranger star get dumped, but he got dumped for a girl! Ouch. Bisexual Amber told Johnny adios and is now riding off into the sunset (on her new horse?) with French model Marie de Villepin. While Johnny is likely heartbroken, ex-girlfriend of 14 years and mother of Johnny’s children, Vanessa Paradis, is probably giggling up her sleeve at Johnny now being a "lone ranger" in real life, too!

Image courtesy Dan Jackman/WENN.com

Johnny Depp rides for justice in the new The Lone Ranger trailer >>

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