Weirdo director David Lynch seems a more natural spokesperson for prosthetic ears or personal nitrous inhaler masks, but in 2012 he came out with David Lynch coffee, which says right there on the tin: "It's all in the beans … and I'm just full of beans."
Uh, huh! You sure are, sir!
Rachael Ray's line of dog food, known, um, as Nutrish, was already a bit of a head-scratcher — sure dogs deserve great food, but kind of odd for a people-food chef to promote it, right?
But things got ever so much weirder in 2012 when Ray hired a food truck to drive on the streets of Manhattan back in October, passing out samples of Nutrish, presumably to dogs.
Meanwhile, nail polish collections with movie and television tie-ins were hot last year: There were The Hunger Games-inspired nail polishes, a line based on 007's Bond Girls, even a True Blood line of polish sold on HSN, which included the color "Let it Bleed."
But weirdest by far is the Modern Family collection, which includes the shades "My Jay or the Highway," "Stand by Your Manny," and of course, "What's the Mitch-uation?"
Meanwhile, Stride Gum was hoping to trade on the cachet of snowboarder/skateboarder Shaun White with its line of "epic" gums Whitemint and Mintacular. At least that endorsement sort of makes sense. Snow, mint, the rush of flying down a mountain, or, uh, putting a strongly minty gum in your mouth.
Another celeb product that sort of makes sense, but is weird anyway: Snoop Dogg's Velvet House Shoes, velvet slippers perfect for lounging in relatively luxe comfort, say, if you should be baked. Or something.
Speaking of slippers, a pregnant-in-2012 Snooki must have wanted to pad around all day in hers. Maybe that's why she unveiled her line of (astonishingly ugly) Happy Feet slippers back in February last year, pictured above in all their awful glory.
And finally, though celeb perfume deals are ubiquitous and rather sensible (easy to imagine a fan wanting to smell like J-Lo or Katy Perry), Lady Gaga distinguished her new-in-2012 fragrance Fame with horrifically oddball interviews in which she avowed Fame was to smell like "an expensive hooker" and feature fragrance notes of "blood and semen." By the way, the blood was taken from a sample Gaga provided. You're welcome.
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