Nicki Minaj Slo-Mo'd Sounds Like Jay-Z
This is creepy, but true! It's not exactly the meanest thing said about the cotton candy-haired pop-rapper, but Reddit still gives Minaj the best review ever when they (kinda, sorta) compare her to Jay-Z.
What do you get when you let a Redditor use slow motion? The best thing ever!
Most things said about Nicki Minaj are matters of opinion. It's not exactly a lie to say that her hair looks like cotton candy, her make-up makes her resemble the monkey from Lion King (thanks, Twitter), or that her voice is obnoxious. Some people would argue that those are facts, but they're all just opinions.
Want to know a juicy fact about Nicki Minaj?
Reddit says that if you slow down Nicki Minaj, she sounds like Jay-Z. Listen...
There are so many incredibly disturbing things about this that must be shared. First, if you listen to the lyrics: This version of Jay-Z is gay, hitting on a dude... and not at all gangster. Second, we're 90 percent sure the video's photo is of Jay-Z photoshopped to make him look like a drag queen.
Once you digest that, think about these questions:
Has Beyonce heard this? Will this change how she feels about him? That sounds silly, but haven't we all been in a relationship where one really strange thing about the person can suddenly kill the attraction?
What happens if, one day while they're in the kitchen together, Jay needs to squeeze by Ms. Bootylicious and says, "Excuse me?" (He seems like he's a rather polite gentleman.)
What if all Beyonce can think is, "You're a helluva guy?" And then the image of dragged-out Jay flashes before her eyes. Then it never leaves! Blue Ivy will never have siblings. Beyonce's next album will sound like it's written by Adele. Jay-Z will become angry and actually begin acting like a gangster, and not a super-rich guy in a Yankees hat!
It's too much to take. We'll leave you with this: For those too lazy to click the link, so far, all attempts to speed up Jay-Z and make him sound like Nicki Minaj have been unsuccessful. There's still some hope for Beyonce & Jay-Z.
Images courtesy of WENN.com
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