Paternity Confirmed In Televised Test

Talk show test confirms that Michael Lohan had a secret daughter — Lindsay's new, secret, 17-year-old half sister, Ashley Horn. No word yet on LiLo's reaction.

In a truly tacky televised episode worthy of the worst tabloid talk shows, a televised paternity test has shown that Michael Lohan, Lindsay's pop, is the father of 17-year-old Ashley Horn.

Ashley's mother, Kristi Horn, has reportedly been trying for four years to convince Michael Lohan he fathered her child. He agreed to take a DNA test on Trisha Goddard, a daily talk show on NBC. The DNA test reputedly proved that Michael was Ashley's father.

Father of the century Michael Lohan set to be dad again >>

Well, if revelations about adultery and paternity had to be made, I for one am glad they were made in a forum that can handle the drama — a television talk show. One that I hadn't heard of, incidentally, before this bit of gossip emerged.

Trisha Goddard had a long-running talk show in the U.K., but she's new to America — her hour-long show just began running in some NBC markets this Sept. She must be jumping up and down today with her big scoop.

The San Francisco Chronicle reported that, "In the big reveal... Michael comes face-to-face with his alleged love child for the first time as Goddard reads out the positive result, prompting Kristi to break down in tears."

Then things get soapy — "Michael, who had previously denied the allegation, stands up to hug the teenager, but she tries to resist, saying, 'This is the first time I've met you. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure... ' He replies, 'It's OK. Everything in time, honey.'"

Cue the violins!

Lindsay Lohan went from naked & broke to $2 million >>

No word yet on how LiLo feels about her new lil sis. Say, isn't she going to be in that new TV movie Liz & Dick? Say, you don't suppose the Lohan love child revelation was actually timed to coincide with Liz & Dick, do you? Do you?

Nah.

By the way, born-again Christian Michael Lohan has four children, including Lindsay, with Dina Lohan, and is said to be expecting another with girlfriend Kate Major.

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Comments on "Meet the newest Lohan: Lindsay's secret sister"

Aaron Saltzer November 17, 2012 | 5:50 PM

Um. She said "No,no, no," when he tried giving her a hug. She said she didn' want to be a part of the "Lohan Trainwreck" before that. People need to get their stories straight.

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