Breaking news: Kate Middleton has nipples! The princess perfect Duchess is embroiled in a scandal of near-Harry proportions as topless photos of the Queen-to-be have been published by a French magazine.
The photos show Kate on a balcony during a private vacation in Provence with Prince William last week, just before they left on their Diamond Jubilee tour on behalf of Queen Elizabeth.
Kate is shown sunning her slim body -- then removing her bikini top.
"There is no question here of alcohol, strip pool, or ambiguous positions," the accompanying article reads, referring to Prince Harry's royal romp. "But simply a spouse who feels well enough in her body and who has nothing to hide to her husband, moments of grace, complicity."
Needless to say, the royals are pissed. St. James's Palace, the office that handles everything Wills, released a statement just before the couple boarded a plane to Borneo.
"Their Royal Highnesses have been hugely saddened to learn that a French publication and a photographer have invaded their privacy in such a grotesque and totally unjustifiable manner."
"The incident is reminiscent of the worst excesses of the press and paparazzi during the life of Diana, Princess of Wales, and all the more upsetting to The Duke and Duchess for being so."
"Their Royal Highnesses had every expectation of privacy in the remote house. It is unthinkable that anyone should take such photographs, let alone publish them. Officials acting on behalf of Their Royal Highnesses are consulting with lawyers to consider what options may be available to The Duke and Duchess."
"The Duke and Duchess remain focused currently on their Tour of Singapore, Malaysia, Solomon Islands and Tuvalu on behalf of HM The Queen."
Somewhere Harry is saying, "Girl, I feel ya."
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