Talk About Well-Suited!
In honor of the highly anticipated head-to-head showdown between world-class swimmers Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte, we've decided to stack the suitemates up for ourselves. Which Olympic hottie-with-the-body should get the gold for making the sport look so good?
What's your sign, baby?
Ryan: Leo (Aug. 3, 1984) — energetic, big-hearted and charismatic-bordering-on-cocky
Michael: Cancer (June 30, 1985) — creative, intuitive and private
Ryan: Daytona Beach, Florida
Michael: Baltimore, Maryland
Ryan: 6'2", 185 pounds
Michael: 6'4", 185 pounds
Slightly silly nicknames
Ryan: The Lochtenator, Reezy
Michael: The Baltimore Bullet, The Flying Fish
Ryan: A total free spirit, famous for stunts like showing up at the Golden Goggle Awards in an all-white leisure suit and posing on the podium in a blinged-out grill
Michael: A solitary kind of guy with intense focus
Naughty little habit
Ryan: Fast food — prior to a recent diet change, he was basically on the Super Size Me meal plan of McDonald's thrice daily
Michael: Party favors (refer to Troubled Waters section)
Where to stalk, er, find him online
Ryan: @ryanlochte on Twitter, or via the Ryan Lochte Official website
Michael: @michaelphelps on Twitter, or at facebook.com/michaelphelps on Facebook
Coupled up or clear for canoodling?
Ryan: Jury's still out — expressed excitement to ESPN over being single in London, but was caught flirting in the training pool with Australian swimmer Blair Evans
Michael: Swimming solo at the moment, although linked to many lovely ladies in the past
Ryan: Kids! He's the spokesperson for The Mac Foundation, as well as Parents Project Muscular Dystrophy and he often gives mementos to young fans in the stands
Michael: Swimming, duh! He founded the Michael Phelps Foundation and the Michael Phelps Swim School, in addition to co-founding Swim with the Stars, to promote healthy living and the sport of swimming
Ryan: A Doberman named Carter (supposedly after Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., AKA Lil Wayne)
Michael: Herman the English bulldog and Stella the Catahoula-mix rescue dog (his wing-woman)
Ryan: Around age 5, but he mainly horsed around in the pool — often getting kicked out for hijinks like pulling other kids' legs (literally) — until his junior year of high school
Michael: Around age 7, as an outlet for his energy (he was later diagnosed with ADHD)
Ryan: His powerful kick, for propelling him impressive lengths
Michael: His pterodactyl-like 6'7" arm span or his size 14 feet (infer what you will here, ladies)
Ryan: A total of three gold, one silver and two bronze Olympic medals; 51 international medals; 3 world records
Michael: A total of 14 gold and two bronze Olympic medals; 59 international medals; 39 world records
Ryan: Tore a muscle in his knee while breakdancing at a party and subsequently had to be sidelined from swim training for seven months
Michael: Busted in 2004 for a DUI and again in 2009 when photographed using a bong, leading to a three-month competitive swimming suspension
Ryan: Dragging around 450-pound chains, flipping tractor tires and tossing around beer kegs
Michael: Snoozing in a high-altitude bedchamber
What's at stake
Ryan: The proverbial torch. With Phelps retiring, Lochte is poised to take the title of world's best swimmer.
Michael: Legacy. To go out with a bang, he'd like to bag the record for most gold medals won by an athlete at a single Olympic (he currently trails gymnast Larisa Latynina by only a few)
And the gold goes to...
Ryan Lochte! He may not be as decorated as Phelps, but we're giving the edge to Lochte. Any man who can make lugging around tractor tires and posing on the cover of Vogue look equally hot wins top billing in our books any day.
Photo credits: Team USA