Cut Us Single Gals
A Break!

Yesterday when I read that Fifty Shades of Grey had spurred the sales of clothesline rope around the nation, I drew a line in the sand. No more. Enough is enough.

Fifthy Shades of Grey

Before I continue, I'll reveal that I have not read this book, nor do I intend to. I am completely and utterly offended by the premise, although not for reasons you may think.

It's not a secret that it's tough being single today. Most of us are moms with or without full-time jobs who are trying to pay the bills, raise kids who aren't a menace to society and then somehow also shoehorn in time for dating. We're typically proud of ourselves if we get ready for a date and our roots aren't showing or our nails don't make our hands look like they belong to a logger. If we're super-lucky, we may even have time to shower and shave (although probably just our calves, not our entire leg). Now we have to deal with the added pressure of performing acts that involve ropes, riding crops and handcuffs? Super.

Fifty shades of yuck >>

First we had to compete with all-access porn that has become part of many single men's lifestyles. This reality has made certain acts that were once taboo mainstream. Now to that we get to add, "Your rope or mine?" If a guy is coming at me with rope, I'm just going to assume that he's going to tie me up, toss me in his trunk and pitch me in the river somewhere. So instead of being turned on, I'm likely going to get out my mace and my rape whistle and run for my life. I have kids who are counting on me to return after my date.

Stephenie Meyer: Fifty Shades of Grey is "not my thing" >>

And can we talk about the riding crop for a second? I'm not a horse. If you want me to move, just ask me to. I don't want someone to try to motivate me with a tool used on an animal that has a brain the size of a mushroom (though if I was a bettin' gal, I'd guess horses don't love those any more than we do!).

Ian Somerhalder in Fifty Shades of Grey? No, thanks >>

Look, this S&M trend is tremendously popular — we have to assume mostly with the long-committed who are looking for a little shot in the arm (or punch in the face, I guess). I'm not a prude — I get that you have to um... "switch" things up over time. I was married for 21 years. All I'm sayin' is how about a little love for the single girls? Some of us are just trying to get a guy to buy us dinner without looking at our wrist size to see if his handcuffs will fit us.

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Comments on "Can Fifty Shades of Grey just go away?"

Stacey A October 10, 2012 | 12:11 AM

I have suffered from depression since the birth of my daughter, now 6, i have had little to no drive at all in that time. I have never considered a BDSM relationship nor was i ever interested in the acts themselves, but once i read this trilogy i am amazed how things have changed for me, i have my drive back and my life is more "interesting" since reading. I have learnt to look at my partner and myself different ually thanks to these books. I have read parts out to my partner and he was hooled and has also read the first book (so far) and is hooked. Too many women who have said "its against women's rights and what we have fought so much to gain, all to have this book suggestively take it away"- You are reading too much into it, its not just about the , its about Christian, and about how Ana helps him realise how he CAN be loved,considering his broken childhood, with some kinky ------- though, there is not a hell of a lot i would consider BDSM in this book, its just giving off the idea, at the start. I give full credit to E.L James- she has got my fire roaring again. Cant wait to read more of her stories when she gets to it!

Julie June 20, 2012 | 10:25 AM

Hurray and amen. Chalk up one for women who refuse to be cuffed and dragged into male-pleasing oblivion for the sake of their inability or unwillingness to place any limitations on ual behavior. When these shades of grey become tame and vanilla, what's next?

JudeLawGuardian June 19, 2012 | 9:49 PM

This is the worst piece of I've ever read. Well, make that ATTEMPTED to read. I can not get past page 67 no matter WHAT. It's juvenile, the writing is BEYOND crap, and it's so moronically redundant I don't know where to start. Plus the author has NO clue about geography, i.e. Oregon is NOT in CANADA, FYI. And even the scenes---while yeah, HOT--are almost as redundant as the rest of the book. I have no issues w/BDSM--hell, it's the reason I wanted to read it. But after realizing that it's just a fanfic ripoff of Twilight--a BAD fanfic at that-- with , I simply don't think I can finish the first one let alone read all 3 volumes. I may skip around to some of the parts, but overall, I honestly can't stomach the bad writing. Her limited vocabulary in describing nearly every scene has me cringing--just count how many times she uses the words "blush/flush", "hitch", "my inner goddess" (spare me...), or how often she describes Christian Grey's "long fingers" or how good looking he is. WE GET IT. Good Lord. My stories in high school were better than this. It's a shame that this has gotten so much attention, when there are better authors on this subject. It's equally sad that real writers can't get published, yet here is a perfect example of hype over substance.

A.S. June 19, 2012 | 4:09 PM

What a ridiculous article! How can you write an article critisizing something you have never read?? You can choose to agree or disagree with this particular lifestyle and still enjoy the book. I consider myself an independent woman who sides with feminists, but when I heard the hype the book was getting I decided to read it. Turns out, I loved it and started in on the second book the next day. Now, having a dominant/submissive relationship is not for me, but it does make for interesting reading. Don't judge this book, especially on a public forum, if you haven't read it. You don't know what you're talking about.

Lisa June 15, 2012 | 3:39 AM

You should have stopped at 'I haven't read it'. After that you're just being ignorant.

Melissa C June 14, 2012 | 10:48 PM

Don't judge before you read it. You have no credibility or even a right to complain! Read it first, before judging it. Obviously its good, duh, so don't go around bringing it down when you haven't probably even touched the book. Never coming back to this site, thank you.

Been There.....Enjoyed it June 14, 2012 | 10:29 AM

These books are not for everyone, just like "vanilla" ice cream is not for everyone. I do get tired of the people who critizie the book and have not read it. There was one post on amazon early on, the "lady" had commented she did not know why this book was so well received since this was "all fantasy." also stated "this does not exist " in the real world. I have news for her and people like her. I am one of millions of women who have been in or are currently in a BDSM or D/s relationship. I learned more about myself, loving others, respect for mankind than I feel I could have learned without the relationship. This went well beyond the lessons instilled from family members. I DO miss it sometimes, but, it is like my childhood, it is in my past. Reading Ms. James' books reminded me of the lessons I learned. I savored each one, I chuckled a lot, remembering my 1st's alone the way. I enjoyed the books so much I will read them again. I would love to met and talk with Ms. James. Just a note to the person who wrote, "Cut Us Single Gals a Break"......I was single when I was involved with the lifestyle!!

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