Millionaire Matchmaker: Patti Stanger’s funniest “Patti-isms”

Patti Stanger

Mr. Dingdong wants to go squishy-gishy!

Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger is known for her unique if not sometimes kooky vocabulary. Referred to as Patti-isms, her job is to put sage dating advice into little phrases even a a dingdong can understand.

My own grandmother always used to say, “It’s easier to get a man than it is to get rid of one.” Something I unfortunately found to be true when I started dating.

Here, Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger gets creative when trying to get dating dos and don’ts through her clients’ often very thick skulls. No wonder she makes up her own words!

“The party-guy ends up in the nursing home hitting on the nurse because there’s no one left.”

“We don’t do hard alcohol here. With tequila you get babies.”

“There are a lot of great guys in small packages. When a man stands on his money, he’s 6 feet tall.”

“He’s got more issues than Playboy.”

“He doesn’t know how to hunt fish, he’s Free Willy.”

“She just wants a hottie-patottie.”

“Did the flagpole raise? Who makes the flagpole raise?”

“This is the brain center down here, Mr. Dingdong for the guys.”

“You’re not going to get any attention if your hair looks like a bat landed in it.”

“If you get a girl juicy-goosy right off the bat, you got her!”

“Women are like crock pots, they heat up real slowly to a nice simmer, men are like a microwave they go A to Z – schwing!”

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