Kathy Griffin

It's Kathy, B*tch

Kathy is back on Bravo Thursday nights and she and her quick wit and forked tongue are locked and loaded. Here she visits with us about getting naked, how she (almost) made Paris Hilton cry and why you'll never see Madonna on her new show...

Kat: You are loved by your fans and shunned by Hollywood. Why do you think Hollywood fails to recognize the tremendous gap between celebrities and everyone else, and that you alone are bridging that gap?

Kathy Griffin: Well, I love you. What I’ve learned about Hollywood is they are full of sh** and just like in high school you have to call them on it and that’s what this show, Kathy, is going to do. We’ll be making fun of all the ridiculousness on all the shows that we’re watching or not watching. So this is your destination if you don’t have a life.

Kat: Recently you’ve had a bit of a preoccupation with taking your clothes off. Can you explain that to us?

Kathy: I found that I am guilty of only one thing in

this world and that is having a hot, banging bikini bod.

I’m not going to apologize for it. A few years ago I got in a bikini with Paris Hilton for My Life on the D List and I found her in the bathroom crying, and screaming “Why, why?” like Nancy Kerrigan after she got hit in the knees with a crowbar. Okay, I’m exaggerating. I didn’t really see Paris cry. But I saw it in her eyes. So then in an effort to do anything for a laugh, I ended up doing a series of things where my clothes fell off. Sometimes I’ll have a friend ring the doorbell and I’ll just run down and answer naked for fun.

"The beauty of it is I just don't give a sh*t anymore."

Kathy Griffin strips down on David Letterman Show

Kat: Your clothes keep “falling off?" So it’s more of a wardrobe malfunction?

Kathy: Well, I don’t know me being completely nude screaming, “Look at me, look at me,” from my balcony can really be called a wardrobe malfunction but we can go with that.

Kat: You have the body of a 14-year-old which is all at once wrong and awesome.

Kathy: The beauty of it is, I just don’t give a sh** anymore, so I’ll drop an ‘f’ bomb or my pants at any time for a laugh.

Kat: What advice do you have for someone like me who wants to asks celebrities smart a** questions, but doesn’t want to get fired?

Kathy: That’s kind of tricky and why I’m not really going to have celebrity guests on the show because you just can’t have Madonna on and say, “When’s the last time you got your filler? Who was your doctor? What was the healing time? Do you have any before and after pictures?” You’d get fired for all of those. So I don’t know. If you want to know how to get banned or fired, I’m your girl.

Other Kathy-isms from the interview:

On her mom, Maggie: “She only stays at my house until she finds me annoying and then she kicks herself out.”

On the show’s format:Kathy will have a lack of structure that will be dazzling to the viewer and a nightmare for the editing booth. In other words I feel it should have a discussion feel, a chatty feel and more importantly people should be able to say whatever the f*** they want.”

On being banned from The Today Show: “I just learned that I’m unbanned, and I’m not happy about it.”

On how she feels about going to hell: “Oh, I love it. I’ve got my hand basket all decorated and there’s a picture of Oprah on it and Ryan Seacrest with his arms open wide.”

On being asked if she’s a coward for not talking directly to celebrities: “It makes me a lady, because I prefer to talk about people behind their back. So I prefer to wait until someone’s left the room, and then I just f***in’ let it rip.”

On Levi Johnston: "I’m the perfect girl for him because I don’t have even one egg left, so even though Levi comes out guns blazing every time he unzips his pants, nothing is going to happen with me."

Image courtesy Andres Otero/ WENN.com

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