You're nobody 'til somebody spoofs you in a celebrity sex tape!
This should make you feel better about all the frogs you've kissed: We've got five bucks that says Adele's ex is worse than yours!
The songstress' six song sweep at last weekend's Grammy Awards has been marred by reports that the "Someone Like You" hit-maker was caught on camera getting her moan on with a former flame.
Word 'round the blogosphere has it that the cad who left the star for one of her gay friends, subsequently inspiring a host of the heartbreak tracks featured on Adele's award-winning sophomore LP 21, has exacted revenge on the soul stirrer.
How, you ask? Why, by unveiling their private sex tape for the gawking pleasure of music lovers (and porn purveyors) everywhere!
French celebrity gossip magazine Public dedicated three pages to the so-called "Adele Sex Tape" in an issue that arrived on newsstands Friday. The publication's feature included still images purported to be of a naked Adele in the throes of passion in the back seat of a car.
"Adele, the Sex Tape, her ex takes his revenge," read the headline.
We hear French paparazzo Jean Claude Elfassi is behind the scandalous reports. The Parisian blogger saw his site shut down this afternoon, shortly after announcing that he planned to publish a snippet from the tape sometime over the weekend.
Adele vehemently denies that she's ever appeared in an eff flick and has already unleashed the wrath of her team of fancy suits on Elfassi and Public. "Untrue and grossly defamatory" and "100 percent false" was among the language used by Adele's legal team when quizzed about the reports.
A statement from the star's reps reads:
"We are informed that the French magazine Public has today published images which it claims show our client in a sex tape. Our client has not appeared in a sex tape as claimed in the article. Our client does not appear in the photographs. Such claims are untrue and grossly defamatory. Our client is taking legal action in relation to this matter."
Adele has never identified the 21 heartbreaker that left her romantically wounded, but this isn't the first time an ex has become a pain in her beehive. Another of Adele's former beaus came back to haunt the vocalist shortly after her melancholy 2009 debut album, 19, sold millions of copies.
The "Chasing Pavements" powerhouse poured her emotions into her music after being unceremoniously dumped by the unnamed partner. Adele always knew her phantom lover was trouble, but she was downright stunned when the guy contacted her requesting a portion of her earnings.
Uh-huh, the guy demanded a slice of the royalties from her chart-topping disc after learning that several of the tracks that helped it go platinum were actually inspired by their bust-up.
"For about a week he was calling and was deadly serious about it. Finally, I said, 'Well, you made my life hell, so I lived it and now I deserve it.' He really thought he'd had some input into the creative process by being a p***k. I'll give him this credit -- he made me an adult and put me on the road that I'm traveling."
Do you believe there's an Adele sex tape floating around?
Photo credit: WENN.com