"Hey, girl. I heard you have amnesia. Let me try to jog your memory." Insert kiss here. Is there anything that's more likely to bring about a total health 180 than the sight of the Gosling in a hoodie, maybe, and a man necklace of some sort, with a bit of scruffy facial hair and...? Oh, man, we're getting carried away.
Just once, we'd like to see the body that launched a thousand pieces of H&M underwear in the flesh.... In the sinewy, tattooed, sweaty, toned flesh. Does he even really have to talk to us? No. We just want to be the sole camerawoman in our own personal boxer-brief ad.
If the cause of our coma were something nefarious, and if we needed something, say, decoded or shot or tackled or kicked, rolling over to see sexpot Daniel Craig staring us down with those baby blue eyes and murmuring to us in that hot British accent would be welcome sights and sounds. Because not only is he a looker, but we also sense that he'd get to the bottom of our medical problems and set the record straight — especially if there were bad guys involved.
We like pretty, and angel-faced Zac Efron has "pretty" on lock. Just think: Golden sun rays are streaming through the window, making Zac's flawless skin and bare chest glow like a moonlit beach at dusk (true, there's no good reason for him to be shirtless in a hospital, but this is our The Vow fantasy), and then he'd definitely say something thoughtful and inoffensive like, "Would you like some eggs and coffee?" Yes, Zac. Yes we would. And anything else you're offering.
How about Justin Timberlake dancing a little jig to cheer you up? Or singing you a tune? Or, if you're really sad, having Justin bring Timbaland over and watching them sing–rap you a duet? Who better to croon a hospital lullaby than Mr. JT himself? But that's not what's so great about waking up to Justin Timberlake as your one and only. It's the personal satisfaction that comes from knowing you hooked him and no one else did. Boo-yah, Jessica Biel!
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