There's a reason why the matriarch has devoted her life to pimping her daughters out to the media managing her children's careers.
Her own attempts at superstardom hit the ground harder than an Acme safe in a Looney Tunes short!
The notorious stage mom of six, then known as Kristen Kardashian, recorded the spoof song "I Love My Friends" (to the tune of Randy Newman's "I Love L.A." ) in celebration of her 30th birthday back in 1985.
A couple of years ago, Kim Kardashian dug out Mom's cringe-worthy foray into the pop world and posted it on her blog to the glee of fans. (Or the horror, depending on who's telling the story.)
In case you've never seen it, we thought we'd revisit its awesomeness in the spirt of the holiday season.
You can thank us later.
The tune was produced by Kris' late ex-husband Robert Kardashian, best known as part of O.J. Simpson's Dream Team of defense attorneys during the shamed football star's 1995 murder trial. The video features a cameo from the accused murderer himself and his then-wife Nicole Brown, who was Kris' best friend.
A young Kourtney, Kim and Khloe also make appearances. (Nice hat, Kourt.)
But the gold here is watching Jenner and her incomparable '80s hair running pants-less on a treadmill and barreling down the Sunset Strip in her convertible. Ah -- how could we forget the part where she lounges in bed with a pack of Cabbage Patch Kids?