Michelle Duggar's letter to daughter Jubilee Shalom is filled with the 19 Kids and Counting family's trademark mixture of hope and faith. Addressing the baby she miscarried on Dec. 11, Michelle speaks of the Duggar family's attitude toward welcoming more children into their home, and the lessons she learned from her pregnancy with Jubilee.
Just days after a memorial service for Jubilee Shalom, during which the Duggar family shared photos of their baby girl's hands and feet, Michelle Duggar has chosen to publicly share a letter to her daughter. This miscarriage is the second for Michelle, who also lost a baby over 20 years ago.
Read the transcript of Michelle Duggar's letter to Jubilee here, or listen as the 45-year-old reads her own words of hope and sorrow aloud in the video below.
Mommy wanted to write a letter to my precious baby girl. You know your name Jubilee Shalom Duggar means, "joyful celebration of peace." We were so thankful to God when we found out we were expecting you. So often in society, babies are looked upon as a problem, trial or responsibility, but God says babies are a blessing. We do not believe that babies are a bother, a headache, or a financial drainer or a career interrupter. We love babies!
Your siblings did not view you as the competition. They are truly saddened and disappointed to not have really known you. Only God knows how much you are already loved. You are not loved any less because you are baby number 21, or Duggar grandbaby number 23. We were blessed because you lived. You were only here with us for such a short time. It's an awesome thought to me that you've fulfilled your life's purpose in such a short time. What a blessing to know that you are in the arms of Jesus, and that it was His face that you saw first. You were loved. You were wanted. Your parents wanted you to be. Your grandparents wanted you to be. Your brothers and your sisters wanted you to be. And the rest of the family wanted you to be.
I will miss listening to your heartbeat and praying for you as you grow in my womb. I will miss feeling you kick in my tummy. I will miss cradling you in my arms and singing to you. I will miss teaching you to sing, "Jesus Loves Me!" I will miss watching you grow up and learn. I will miss seeing life through your eyes as I have enjoyed doing with all the other children so much. I will miss doing mommy-things with you and for you. I will miss noticing how you do things like the others or how different you are. I will miss your smile and your personality. I will miss holding you and hugging you and kissing you and touching your soft skin. I will miss hearing your voice and your songs. I will miss reading with you and talking with you. I will miss watching you play and watching you work. I will miss taking pictures of you and seeing you experience things for the first time. I will miss taking you to the zoo.
It overwhelms me to think of all that I will miss about you. You're a love I was able to touch for such a short few moments and alive I will hold in my heart. I don't know God's purpose for taking you on to Heaven, but I know your short life will help me to remember truly how fragile life is. It will help me to more fully enjoy the time I have here with the other family members. It will help me to focus on what is truly important in life and help me to be more aware of heaven and the ultimate destination. It will help me to delight in every moment of growing up that your siblings have in your presence. I will not forget you.
I will look forward to meeting you someday. I like to think of you being in heaven with our other loved ones there and all of you getting to spend time together. I'm going to frame your birthday and meaning of your name with all of your siblings' pictures on our baby wall. From now on, when I'm asked how many children I have, the answer will be 21, 19 here and 2 in heaven.
You are precious to me Jubilee. Mommy loves you.
Jubilee Shalom Duggar from WMtek Inc on Vimeo.
Image courtesy Scott Enlow/TLC