The Etiquette
Of Outing

Indie darling Ellen Page was outed as bisexual earlier this month. The article, Ellen Page - The Hypocrite, is still stirring up controversy over the etiquette of outing. Have things changed? Get the story and weigh in below.

Christoph Topitschnig has stirred up the LGBT community by outing Ellen Page, and he's not apologizing. In fact, he believes he's taking a stand and that Page deserved to be outed.

Ellen Page Outed

"I gave Ellen Page a decent chance to come out with the truth," Topitschnig posted on V-Generations. "Two months ago, I mentioned her in my LGBT article and made it pretty clear what she had to do. (Yes, she knows about this site.)

"I wrote: 'In times like these when young gay people commit suicide out of fear of rejection, role models are needed. The gravity of the situation doesn't ask for passive hiding but active fighting. What will Ellen Page's choice be?'"

The story, which has gotten him banned from one site already, is basically a diatribe against Page and other LBGT Hollywood liberals who stay in the closet, while raking in the industry bucks, instead of speaking out and taking a proper stand for their community.

It also references Pages's alleged romances with both guys and gals, including Drew Barrymore, Clea Du Vall, Ben Foster, Mark Rendall, Slim Twig. Page has been snapped with both ladies, and even shared a kiss with Barrymore for a sexy Marie Claire shoot while they were promoting Whip It.

Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page shared a kiss in Marrie Claire in 2006

Now, some are suggesting you can tell the above pic from 2006 is definitely a real kiss. After all, they closed their eyes, they look into it and someone says Page likes women.

This, of course, is one of the hazards of outing and celeb gossip in general. Once someone is outed for anything, it's often taken as gospel, no matter how (un)reliable the source. Just look at the ongoing Will and Jada Pinkett-Smitth drama.

In terms of outing in the gay community, however, Rachel Maddow spoke to the issue on her blog back in April, when folks thought she was outing Anderson Cooper. She wrote:

"I've long held three basic beliefs about the ethics of coming out:

Gay people -- generally speaking -- have a responsibility to our own community and to future generations of gay people to come out, if and when we feel that we can.

We should all get to decide for ourselves the "if and when we feel that we can" part of that.

Closeted people should reasonably expect to be outed by other gay people if (and only if) they prey on the gay community in public, but are secretly gay themselves.

I also believe that coming out makes for a happier life, but that's not a matter of ethics, that's just corny advice."

outing: Right or Wrong?

Weigh in and let SheKnows where you come down in the outing debate.

Photo courtesy of ontd and Peggy Sirota/Marie Claire

Tags: rachel maddow

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Comments

Comments on "Ellen Page and the karma of outing gay Hollywood"

rachel March 20, 2014 | 11:22 PM

What is up with this website? I wrote "As a former homophobic person who came out as G.A.Y" but it was edited out. G/A/Y G*A*Y G.A.Y word is not allowed here? gee! Who made this website? HITLER?

rachel March 20, 2014 | 11:17 PM

*As a former homophobic person who came out as

rachel March 20, 2014 | 11:13 PM

"Closeted people should reasonably expect to be outed by other people if (and only if) they prey on the community in public, but are secretly themselves." THIS. Regardless, nobody really deserves to be DRAGGED OUT from the closet. I believe closeted different people in their different situations all have their reasons. As a former homophobic person who came out as a , (talking about myself) I can confidently say "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" Christoph Topitschnig! coming out of somebody else should not concern you, sir! HOW OR IF a person comes out should not be SCRUTINIZED. For crying out loud, It's not easy even to this day. It's a meticulous process.

billy F February 16, 2014 | 8:17 AM

Crawl back under your rock you bitter little -------. what gives you the right to dictate anything about anyone elses life? label yourself as , straight or whatever all you really are is a bully

Alex September 02, 2013 | 2:55 AM

Most of these comments say it all when it comes to "coming out"... Firstly, the insinuation that heterouality is 'normal' and the necessity to come out to differentiate yourself and make an example. Since we all know that homouality is NOT an unusual thing. I think stressing that someone should 'come out' for anyone but themselves perpetuates that whole myth. Coming out is a personal decision, period. If you WANT to come out and be a role model for disenfranchised youth, and you WANT to make a statement about acceptance and tolerance, then you absolutely should do so. But otherwise, simply being and famous (much less bi) does not mean that you automatically have some sort of responsibility to be a spokes person of the cause. I'm bi. My friends know I'm bi. But I've never felt the 'need' to 'come out' as 'biual'... I've never really thought about it either. Just because I'm (occasionally) attracted to men does not mean that I have a responsibility to talk about it with anyone other than who I'm involved with. MUCH less does anyone ELSE have any sort of authority to talk about MY uality without my approval.

Martyr July 21, 2013 | 2:05 PM

I know this article is old. Maybe the author wrote it to get more traffic on this site, or maybe in fact, the author is a completely pompous ego driven fool. Ellen Page, or anyone for that matter does not have a responsibility to do anything for any one or any group. She doesn't have to be a role model either. If you (the author) are worried about role models, why couldn't you cry about all of these young actors(resses), and singers who are on drugs, or acting irresponsible? You (the author) have some nerve to "out" anyone you know nothing about on a personal level. GDIAF. I really wish people, scratch that, SHEEPLE, like you would just disappear from the face of the earth. This pathetic planet of peons has enough gossiping idiots. Write something more informative and objective.

sierra June 27, 2013 | 2:43 PM

Some people do not feel the need to be "out" Why should I have to scream from the rooftop that im when straight people don't. honestly when I got "outed" at school people came to me like how dare you not tell us all when honestly I wasn't in a closet I didn't feel like it was anyones ------- business but my own.

CLP June 19, 2013 | 11:24 PM

My god, you are an ignorant -----. You'll get your comeuppance..if you haven't already. IDIOT.

Jim J August 25, 2012 | 6:50 PM

What a complete --- Topitschnig is. Who the ---- does he think he is to change the rules for his own agenda of being in the spotlight. He owes Ellen Page an apology and it needs to be written in his own article. What a -------!

Deltart August 13, 2012 | 12:35 AM

It is NEVER okay to out someone. Ever. It is really that simple. Now, is it nice when LGBT celebrities are out? Yes. We do need representation. LGBT youth do need people to look up to. But that is no excuse. I am disgusted that a member of the community would do something like this.

jess August 09, 2012 | 12:41 PM

"I gave Ellen Page a decent chance to come out with the truth," okay going off this statement alone, um it's not your business to out anyone!! Yes she may be a celebrity but she's still human and has the same rights as everyone else and her personal life is her personal life! some people are just so damn ignorant. like for real if she wanted to come out or not thats her business no one else's and you should be ashamed of yourself!

@Ramsteinrig July 28, 2012 | 10:52 PM

I stopped reading at: "'In times like these when young people commit suicide out of fear of rejection," Because the person who wrote this has such a hard-on for some 'cause' yet he's so bothered about some random actress as opposed to helping 'the cause' in a way that will help prevent s from 'committing suicide.' You want to help the 'cause?' Stop posting useless, celeb-related garbage on the internet. That job's been taken by TMZ.

InAndOut July 15, 2012 | 12:44 PM

The guy that outed her should meet the same fate as the guy in "Hard Candy".

anon June 19, 2012 | 7:39 PM

I find the whole concept of 'coming out' to be ridiculous. It is founded upon, and effectively maintains, the premise that being straight is the norm. It's not as though people have to announce they're heteroual! Only if they deviate from this 'norm'. The issue shouldn't be whether or s in the media should come out to provide role models for others. It's admirable when LGBT people do advocate for the community, however. My point is that people in general should see that they have a responsibility to promote tolerance and acceptance of ALL people. Ellen Page may or may not be a . Frankly it's irrelevant. She is a vocal feminist, and she seems to genuinely care about important issues. This is what people should care about.

Ralph June 14, 2012 | 1:54 PM

Outing someone is reprehensible. I only wish I had the resources to investigate these "outers" personal lives and reveal every personal thing about them. Of course, I'll allow them to do it themselves first and if they don't do what I want, I'll do it myself. After all, how dare these people think they have the right to keep their personal lives private.

Some Guy June 05, 2012 | 11:32 PM

Ellen Page has no responsibility to speak on her personal life life to anybody or on behalf of any community that feels they can claim her. This is pretty much the same as requiring every Black citizen to sign up for the NAACP.

Heroina June 01, 2012 | 12:58 PM

A mi no me importa si ella es o no pues es su vida y ella debera hacer lo que quiera con ella, ademas, Ellen Page es una gran actriz y eso es lo que importa.

Heroina June 01, 2012 | 12:56 PM

A mi no me importa si es o no pues es su vida y a nadie le interesa lo que ella haga o deje de hacer con ella, es una gran actriz y eso es lo que importa.

brie May 20, 2012 | 7:23 PM

ARGHHH! Taking your time to figure your ---- out is not being selfish, it's not hurting anyone, and it's not wrong. When you attack her your not attacking Hollywood you're attacking an individual on a VERY private matter. Coming out is a lifechanging profound moment and everyone is entitled to go through it as they choose. Also the schmuck who wrote the article talks about cowardice and being selfish he makes a living exploiting other people! We want to throw our rage our sorrow our admiration at celebrities but the real problem isn't them and it isn't Hollywood, it's us if you want to do something about it YOU do something about it. Come on grow up, she's not exploiting anyone, if anything she's being exploited. The reason rights has had such a struggle is because people have been oppressed and force fed what's right and wrong... like I don't know telling someone they need to come out and when. IF she is biual than she'll come out in her own time, she'll make her own choice about what to do with the knowledge, and she'll be supported not attacked either way, because the rights issue is a civil rights issue and the key to equality is compassion, knowledge, and understanding.

v May 14, 2012 | 9:06 PM

no one deserves to be outed. it's never justifiable. that's all i'm going to say.

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