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Ricky Gervais offers own script for Anne Hathaway and James Franco's Oscar hosting

Jenna Busch is a host and writer of all things geek for SCI FI Wire, JoBlo, Huffington Post, AOL, Popeater, Newsarama, UGO, IGN, Moviefone and Geek Week. A New York transplant living in Los Angeles, Jenna has been on many sides of the en...

Ricky Gervais gives Oscar advice

Comedian Ricky Gervais was soundly criticized for his snarky attitude while hosting the Golden Globes. Well, he's not above poking fun at himself. He's just written a fake script for the opening of the Oscars.

Ricky Gervais

Comedian Ricky Gervais was criticized for his harshness while hosting the Golden Globes. I have to admit, I did find myself with my mouth hanging open in shock more than once during the show. But really, had the Hollywood Foreign Press Association ever seen his comedy? Were they expecting a frolicking bunnies-style host? After the show, they blasted Gervais and what he said. Even some of the actors sounded off on his harshness.

Gervais must really feel for Oscar hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco. The two have sworn to be nice, in case you haven't heard. Well, they will be if they don't follow the script Gervais has written for their opening. Hey, you've got to appreciate a man who can make fun of himself along with others.

Gervais blogged the script with lines like, "You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds 'way out' but wait till half way through this (expletive) ceremony and you'll start to identify with him."

Hathaway's intro? "And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too."

In the script, Gervais has them joke about him, saying, "Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!" And, "No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly. Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office. He's doing some charity work. Yeah, he's visiting orphans with cancer. He's telling them what bald little losers they are..."

Now, I have to be honest. I'd pay good money to hear them say this next line, "It's going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners."

You know, I like Hathaway and Franco. I'm sure they'll do a bang up job in a very sweet way. But let's be frank. Wouldn't you rather watch Gervais blast everyone into tiny pieces?

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