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Sneak peek at Snooki’s book: A Shore Thing

Kim Grundy is a mom, writer, expert laundry folder and sandwich maker, not necessarily in that order. Raised in Oklahoma, she is now a West Coast gal and lives in California with her husband and two sons, along with one dog, two fish (oo...

Snooki's new book Shore Thing

Jersey Shore's Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi has jumped on the celebrity book bandwagon with her new novel, A Shore Thing. We are pretty sure her own fragrance (probably smelling like burnt skin and pickle juice) is not far behind!

Snooki

Self-proclaimed guidette Snooki has put pen to paper and wrote her first novel, very aptly titled, A Shore Thing. Even though she has confessed to only reading two books her entire life (Twilight and Dear John), the Jersey Shore star managed to squeeze in writing a book between her TV appearances and tanning.

Scheduled for release early this week, The New York Post has released these gems from her new book.

Check out these excerpts from A Shore Thing:

  • "He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face."
  • "Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla."
  • "Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a 'roid rage, it is a 'road' 'roid rage."
  • "Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."
  • "Gia had never before been in jail. It wasn't nearly as gritty and disgusting as she'd seen on TV prison shows. The Seaside Heights drunk tank -- on a weekday afternoon -- was as clean and quiet as a church."
  • "I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk."

Snooki told Jay Leno that her book is purely fictional. "[It's] very exciting," she tells him. "It's just based on things that are in my head, like made-up stories."

Read on for more Jersey Shore

How to look like a Jersey Shore guidette
Jersey Shore will go on
Jersey Shore's JWoww debuts clothing line

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