Six seasons after spinning off from MTV's OC-reality show, Laguna Beach, The Hills sings its swan song tonight, bringing to an end the reign of the dead eyes of Audrina Patridge and the mascara tears of Lauren Conrad.
After innumerable inane, forced conversations about life and love ("Like, ya know, I totally like him, but, like, I don't know if he, like, likes me? Ya know?"), The Hills made Conrad a household name, spun off once more into Whitney Port's MTV show, The City, and inspired an ungodly amount of poorly advised plastic surgery.
We all know about Heidi Montag's ridiculous ten surgeries in one day, but let's not forget about Audrina's bulbous fake boobs, Brody's ex-girlfriend Jayde Nicole and her nose, lips, breasts and, some say, eyes, and Stephanie Pratt's nose, lips and facial sculpting. What is MTV doing to these poor women? None of them are over the age of 25 and they're hacking themselves up!
With The Hills final bow tonight, the question is -- what's next for the cast now that their gravy train has run out of steam?
Lauren Conrad is off having books ghostwritten for her and clothing lines designed with her name on them. She'll be just fine, thank you very much.
Audrina Patridge was going to have her own Mark Burnett-produced reality show but MTV put the kibosh on that. Now she's only got her new role of Bongo spokesmodel to keep her warm at night.
Kristin Cavallari will go back to being an out of work actress and devout party girl.
Stephanie Pratt is angling for a role on The City to extend her fifteen minutes.
Brody Jenner is dating Avril Lavigne and living his lovely life of leisure, as always.
Heidi and Spencer Pratt were written off the show after repeated run-ins with producers. After filing for their latest publicity stunt…err, we mean, divorce, Heidi Pratt started designing handbags and filmed a cameo in a new Adam Sandler flick, while Spencer, who allegedly threatened the life of a producer and was suspended from filming, says he's launching his own paparazzi agency and announced on Twitter that he'll be trying to crash the finale party at the Roosevelt Hotel tonight. Way to keep it classy, Speidi.
Bon voyage, The Hills. We, like, totally, will do a kamikaze shot in your honor tonight. Ummm, yeah.
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