Let's do the time warp
"The five year thing is not a literal five years," Teri Hatcher clarifies. "It's not 2013: It's just an amount of time."
In other words, when she heard the big news about the show jumping forward, she wasn't concerned about her character, Susan, going through SORAS (soap opera rapid aging syndrome).
"If you did want to be literal about it, I would say, 'Do I look that different than I did when we started the show?'" Hatcher reflects. "I would answer, 'Not in any qualifying way.' But maybe I'm just fooling myself!"
Her costar and Desperate hubby Doug Savant (Tom) also survives the time jump unscathed -- at least physically. "I love the five year jump, because I haven't aged a day," he quips. "I look great!"
Not everyone can say the same. Time hasn't been as kind to Wisteria Lane's model turned legit housewife, Gabrielle. After five years of caring for her blind hubby and playing mom, she's ditched her Manolo Blahniks and even packed on some pounds.
"It's way more fun to play frumpy!" Eva Longoria tells SheKnows. "Then you can focus on story and character, as opposed to the look. Obviously, it's easier for me in hair and makeup, but I also feel Gabby's dealing with a lot of issues. We get to explore more things, specifically for my character and for all of us, so I'm excited. To play something other than glamour is going to be fun."
Some critics are already lashing out at the show for giving Gabby the mommy makeover, but Longoria just shakes her head at that.
"It's so stupid to say to say it's an insult to moms everywhere," Longoria maintains. "That's the stupidest analysis you can make of the show. It is real, and if anything, we are (usually) criticized for being too beautiful. 'Oh, there are that many beautiful women on one street?' So I love that Marc [Cherry, creator] is exploring a real side. Maybe it's not 'real,' but it's 'another' side."
Marcia Cross is equally thrilled to show another side of her uptight character, Bree, who has spent the missing five years becoming Wisteria Lane's answer to Martha Stewart.
"I was really looking for her to get out of the house," Cross recalls during the show panel. "I mean, she's going to get out of the house with her muffins, but at least she's getting out of the house! It's as it is in life, you know? Growth is inevitable, and I thought it would be great for her to get into the world and out of the domestic problems. Although, those will probably be right back!"
As for the Scavos', who spent last season on the brink of break up yet refused to give up, the five years had not made their plight any easier.
"Lynette and Tom are still together and strong. Going forward? I guess it's open," Savant teases. "We have issues over what the boys bring to our lives and what their troubles and juvenile delinquency does to our marriage. I love the marriage of Tom and Lynette and the struggles they go through. Most of America relates to them in a very grounded way and then enjoy, love and have a fantasy life with the other characters on the show."
Like his castmate Hatcher, Savant admits he was "devastated" to lose his on screen kids, who couldn't physiologically make the age jump.
"Our kids on the show learned the first show biz lesson: Once you get a job, you will ultimately be fired or the show will end and you'll lose a job," he sighs. "But I love what jumping five years allows us: It gives us the ability to not only move forward, but also move backwards within those years. We can tell stories that give some background and depth to the current story as we're moving forward. It's a brilliant move by the guys. It resets the show."
Susan's new future
One of the biggest resets this season is for bumbling Susan, who finally landed her plumber and had his baby by the end of last season...but five years later, she's kissing someone new!
Mum's the word on how she ends up there, but Hatcher previews we're going to see a lot of change in her wacky character.
"The jump is allowing her to have more strength than we've seen," Hatcher says. "You've seen years of a Susan who is like, 'Please love me, please love me, please love me!' Now, she's probably more closed off to love and not so searching and needy of it. She's trying to control things a bit more, for reasons that will be revealed."
To learn those reasons -- not to mention what happened to the gardener and the rest of Wisteria Lane over the last few years -- set your time machine for the season premiere of Desperate Housewives on ABC, September 28 at 9 pm!
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