Britney Spears attempted her big comeback as the opening act. Unfortunately the only big thing about her performance was her dunlop -- as in, her gut dun lopped over her pants. Now, don't get me wrong -- she looks good for a mother of two kids under the age of two, but most moms with two kids under the age of two don't prance around a Vegas stage wearing little more than a black sequined bikini. Also, could she be any more disinterested? There was nothing going on upstairs. Nothing. Kid Rock and Tommy Lee caused the best action of the night -- unfortunately it was off-camera. The dueling rockers brawled in the audience while a
gleeful horrified Pamela Anderson looked on. My money's on Tommy Lee for this one. Kid Rock may be a scrappy Detroit playa, but all Tommy Lee' gotta do is knock him over the head with that giant billy club he carries around in his pants. Nelly Furtado' hair also makes the loser list. Blonde? Really? You really thought that was a good idea, Nelly? Alicia Keys channeling LaToya Jackson singing George Michael. Enough said. And now for the 2007 VMA winners:
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