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These Behind-the-Scenes Pics of April on Grey's Anatomy Are a Lot

Allie Gemmill is the Freelance Assistant Entertainment Editor as well as Entertainment News and Features Writer at SheKnows. She's worked as a freelance entertainment editor and writer for sites like Teen Vogue, Movie Pilot, Bustle, VICE...

We know this is tough, Grey's Anatomy fans

Actor Sarah Drew's time on Grey's Anatomy is nearly done, and she's posting photos from her final days of filming. Folks, we are so not OK. Drew confirmed she would be leaving at the end of Season 14, and the finale will air on Thursday, so we know our time with Dr. April Kepner is very limited. The final episodes of Season 14 are that much more intense to watch because any scene with April in it feels like an especially meaningful, important moment.

More: This Grey's Anatomy Actor Is Defending a Costar From Internet Bullies

What's more meaningful, though, are the emotional behind-the-scenes photos that Drew posted on her Instagram after last Thursday's episode, "Cold as Ice," aired. The penultimate episode of Season 14 was a bit nerve-racking for April fans because the beloved doctor was truly put through the wringer. Coming close to death after being involved in a horrendous car accident, April was brought back to life by her Grey Sloan colleagues through the magic of science and some silent prayers. After all that, and knowing Drew only has one more episode left, her behind-the-scenes photos had us extra emotional.

First, she posted this adorable selfie of her and Dr. Jackson Avery Jesse Williams, just hanging out on one of the show's hospital beds.

@ijessewilliams

A post shared by Sarah Drew (@thesarahdrew) on

Then came the one-two punch of Drew posing for commemorative photos with costar Caterina Scorsone and fellow departing actor Jessica Capshaw. She captioned their group shot, "Magic hour by the trailers... There were so many 'lasts' during this episode. This was my last episode shooting on the Grey’s Anatomy stages. So many conversations have happened by these trailers in the past 9 years. It was sweet to finish out my night with these two beautiful souls."

Can somebody please hand us some tissues? This is already way too much to handle!

But Drew kept posting. A selfie with Capshaw and Chandra Wilson was taken moments after she shot her last-ever Grey's scene. In another photo with Williams, Drew wrote a lengthy caption about her favorite moments acting opposite him over the years: "For me, this photo speaks volumes about our partnership. Jesse and I had some very trying stories to tell over the years and there were many moments when we really needed to lean on each other to get through them. And we did."

First of all, Jesse knocked this scene completely out of the park. His performance destroyed me. Wow. Secondly, For me, this photo speaks volumes about our partnership. Jesse and I had some very trying stories to tell over the years and there were many moments when we really needed to lean on each other to get through them. And we did. To name a few: Samuel’s death, signing divorce papers, when Harriet was cut out of me (Jesse was on set to do the off camera phone call), when April tells Jackson she needs to move out because it’s just too hard. The scene right here where Jackson prays over April was one of those moments. It was agonizing for me, because I wanted so badly to reach out and offer him support in the scene- to let him lean on me - cuz that’s what we do for each other- but I had to just lie there unconscious letting him do his beautiful work alone. So, after he finished his coverage, I reached out to hug him and our makeup artist @loveeani caught it on film. Our partnership on this show has been so sweet, so collaborative, so challenging (in the absolute BEST way). We got to tell stories that really matter, that have reached out and provided a safe space for people to love, laugh, mourn and grow. I will be forever grateful to my co-captain for the 9 years of friendship and for the opportunity to tell such beautiful stories together. Thank you, Jesse . Photocred @lovveeani

A post shared by Sarah Drew (@thesarahdrew) on

Here are some of my favorite people on the planet. While shooting this scene my heart was so full of joy and sadness at the same time that it was almost unbearable. As I was looking up at all of these beautiful faces, smiling down at me with so much love, happy to see April alive and well, I was overcome with sadness about the reality of not being with all of these people in the same place in the same way ever again. But, I was ALSO overcome with the joy of having had the opportunity in my life to know such gorgeous people whom I have loved, who have loved me so well for 9 years. During a break in the scene, I felt the tears coming and I looked over and made eye contact with Caterina and Chandra and they whisked me away and let me feel my feelings all over them. It was such a sweet moment of friendship. What I keep experiencing since the moment I was let go, is the tremendous joy that is present in the midst of my sorrow. It felt horrible to be asked to leave my family of 9 years, and I have experienced real, deep grief over it, BUT I have ALSO been so buoyed up by my cast, my crew, the fans, and my family in such extraordinary ways, that I wouldn’t trade any moment of it for the world. I keep describing my experience over the last two months as being “love-bombed” because between the conversations, the hugs, the letters, the tweets, the plane(!), that’s truly what I’ve felt. Love-bombed. In the wake of being let go, I’ve been overwhelmed with gratitude, and I’ve felt profoundly loved. I am so humbled and so thankful. Get ready for so many more pics and love notes next week.

A post shared by Sarah Drew (@thesarahdrew) on

While we were in the middle of shooting this scene, just before my coverage, it occurred to me that this was April and Bailey’s final scene together. When I realized it, I had to sing happy songs to myself to keep from losing it while the camera was on me. As soon as we finished the scene, I unplugged myself from all of the wires as fast as I could and ran into Chandra’s arms, and Kelly captured this moment between the two of us. Chandra has been a true friend and mentor to me, as an actor, a director and a human. I admire her strength of character and her determination to choose joy in any and all circumstances. I want to be like her when I grow up On my last day shooting, she gave me a goodbye letter that she had written from Bailey to April. It was the most incredible gift I never knew I needed. It helped me gain perspective, reminded me of my worth, and brought everything full circle for me. I love my Chandra. #chandrawilson #photocred @seekellymccreary

A post shared by Sarah Drew (@thesarahdrew) on

More: These Grey's Anatomy Fan Favorites Are Officially Done

Seeing all of these behind-the-scenes photos of Drew with her Grey's castmates feels like the emotional preamble we needed to help us get through the Season 14 finale. These photos — while much appreciated — highlight just how strong a bond Drew formed with her costars over the years and just how dearly she'll be missed when she's officially gone.

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