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These Meghan Markle & Prince Harry Dolls Are Actually Terrifying

Christina Marfice

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Christina is a reporter based in Boise, Idaho. She's a veteran vegetarian, a political junkie and a huge grammar snob. On the weekends, she can usually be found binging on Netflix, playing the piano or petting her cats, Daisy and Dandelion.

You cannot unsee this royal nightmare (but look anyway)

Look, we're all stoked about the upcoming royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. We wouldn't be completely opposed to some memorabilia to commemorate the wedding because it's a pretty major historical event and the royals (and Markle!) are pretty universally beloved.

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But fam, we've gotta draw the line somewhere, and we may have just found where.

A doll clothing store on Etsy called HistoryWearz is hawking what it calls "royal wedding" dolls, and not only do they bear exactly zero resemblance to Prince Harry and Markle — after whom they are allegedly modeled — but guys, they're kind of nightmare fuel. Seriously, look at these things. Be warned though: once you look, you cannot erase these images from your mind.

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If you're skeeved out by these two and their sad, empty eyes, do not look at the rest of that Etsy store, because apparently, the seller uses the same dolls for every historical figure they create because this is a bizarre doll universe where things like hair color and facial features don't matter.

The Prince Harry doll has brown eyes and dark brown hair, looking nothing like the real Prince Harry, who has blue eyes and light gingery hair. The Markle doll also bears zero resemblance to her namesake other than dark eyes and hair. It's a mess.

Also, can we talk about that dress? This shop supposedly specializes in making the clothes, so we can almost, sort of give it a pass for the dolls themselves looking nothing like they should. But Markle would not be caught dead in a dress with a bedazzled ruffled tulle collar. That simply would not happen.

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Bring on all the royal wedding merch possible, but we're going to have to take a hard, hard pass on these things, whatever they are.

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