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7 Things Tom Cruise Does in Literally Every Movie

Shanee Edwards is a screenwriter who earned her master's degree at UCLA Film School. She recently won the Next MacGyver television writing competition to create a TV show about a female engineer. Her TV pilot, Ada and the Machine, is cur...

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen

We all love Tom Cruise. His movies keep us on the edge of our seat and help us believe that good will win out in the end. But Cruise isn't so much of an actor as he is a movie star. That means he doesn't really play characters (OK, there was that one time in Tropic Thunder); instead, he plays different versions of himself. And we would include his performance as the vampire Lestat as just an undead, fancier version of himself.

If Tom Cruise were a car brand, he'd be Land Rover: powerful yet stylish. If he were a beverage, he'd be a Coke: bubbly and all-American. Like cars and beverages, actors, too, have brands. Cruise knows his brand is sexy action hero, and he always delivers. And all of these things are on brand for every Tom Cruise movie.

1. He takes off his clothes

In The Mummy, Cruise emerges from a body bag — naked, of course.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

In Risky Business, he sings pants-less.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

Then there's that famous volleyball match in Top Gun where he's all greased up.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

2. He runs breathlessly through the city with mad panic

Usain Bolt has nothing on Cruise.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

Crash, bam, boom! Now that's an explosion.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

No! Don't look back!

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

3. He loves to jump

This jump is from Edge of Tomorrow. Didn't see it? No need. This is literally the most exciting part.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

In this Mission: Impossible jump, he's like a human spider (not to be confused with Spider-Man).

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

And of course, we had to include jumping on Oprah's couch.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

4. He has a "need for speed"

Love the way he blips the throttle and spikes revs on his steel horse.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

We're absolutely, 100 percent sure Cruise is in that beige car. The one in the middle. We promise.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

It's a bird, it's a plane... it's Tom Cruise!

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

 5. He clings to things

No rock is too high for Cruise.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

For this one, Cruise hired a fitness trainer just to work out his hands.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

In Rock of Ages, he even clung to a stripper pole.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

6. He protects his women

He protects Annabelle Wallace from a raven strike in The Mummy.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

He floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee to protect Nicole Kidman in Far and Away.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

He creepily protects Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

 7. And, of course, he's always in shades

The Ray-Bans in Risky Business signal that he's the cool guy who likes to have fun.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

The aviators in Top Gun say he's cocky.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

Pushing his shades down, but not taking them off, says he sees something intriguing but can't commit to it.

It's not a Tom Cruise movie if these things don't happen
Image: Giphy

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