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A Great British Baking Show Premiere Cake-Eating Game

Sarah Aswell is a freelance humor writer who lives in Missoula, Montana, with her husband and two kids. Her words have appeared in places like The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, The Hairpin, and more.

Ready to get crazy? Bake a cake, invite your friends & get ready for our Great British Baking Show cake-eating game

It's summertime, which means it's also time for the most wonderful, relaxing and sweetest hour of television to return to PBS: The Great British Baking Show (known as The Great British Bake Off across the pond). For seven seasons, we have watched in utter delight as totally kind, nervous and normal contestants have joyfully baked desserts for abnormally kind and supportive judges, all in a festive white tent in a field in the U.K.

Ready to get crazy? Bake a cake, invite your friends & get ready for our Great British Baking Show cake-eating game
Image: Giphy

It goes against almost all of the tenants of your average reality show. No one yells, no one stabs anyone in the back, and none of the judges are mean, ever. When someone is politely asked to leave the show at the end of each episode, it's with a lovely mix of constructive criticism and compliments (and contestants always respond with pure gratefulness that they were a part of the production to begin with).

More: Will The Great British Bake Off survive without its beloved hosts?

Note that this is Season 7 of The Great British Bake Off (as it airs in the U.K on BBC.) also known as Season 4 of the Great British Baking Show (as it airs in the U.S. on PBS).

Ready to get crazy? Bake a cake, invite your friends & get ready for our Great British Baking Show cake-eating game
Image: Giphy

Currently, England is up in arms about the upcoming Season 8 of Bake Off in which the show's production is moving from the BBC to Channel 4 (a for-profit television station in the United Kingdom). It's a move that has not been seen as positive by the millions of British fans. British celebrity baker Mary Berry has left the show as a judge, while beloved co-hosts Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc also decided to stay with the BBC and leave the cooking show. The only remaining judge is Paul Hollywood, another noted British baker, who will be joined by famed British cook Prue Leith. The hosts will be Sandi Toksvig and Noel Fielding.

But for Season 4 of the United States' airing of the show, Berry, Perkins and Giedroyc will all return one last time before the switch will be seen and felt in the U.S. next summer.

More: The Great British Bake Off ad running in America is hilarious

So we are entering this new season with a lot of anticipation, a lot of high hopes and a few concerns about biscuit crispness. What better way to cushion our anxieties than with cake? Or even the unwise overconsumption of cake? Let's take it all, the good and bad, with big, big forkfuls of cake.

Ready to get crazy? Bake a cake, invite your friends & get ready for our Great British Baking Show cake-eating game
Image: GIPHY

Without further ado, here your Great British Baking Show cake-eating game.

More: 8 funniest moments from The Great Comic Relief Bake Off

Take a bite of cake...

  • When they say, "On your marks, get set, bake!"
  • When a host says something extremely helpful and supportive for some reason
  • Every time someone says a British word you don't understand
  • Every time you feel wistful pang for Mel and Sue leaving next season
  • When someone gazes anxiously into an oven
  • When someone uses a cooking technique you've never heard of
  • When you suddenly say something really British, such as, "I'm mad as a box of frogs!"
  • If someone tears up or cries

Eat a forkful of frosting...

  • If you have to turn on the closed captioning
  • When someone uses an ingredient you've never heard of
  • When a host makes a saucy joke
  • When a baked good does not rise

Finish your piece of cake...

  • If absolutely anyone is mean to absolutely anyone else
  • If absolutely anyone says, "I'm not here to make friends"
  • If you are watching the show while in a large tent in the middle of a field in England
Ready to get crazy? Bake a cake, invite your friends & get ready for our Great British Baking Show cake-eating game
Image: Giphy

What kind of cake are you baking to celebrate the new season of The Great British Baking Show? Sound off in the comments.

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