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Kesha Writes Essay About Finding Herself & Doing It in the Cruel Public Eye

Christina Marfice

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Christina is a reporter based in Boise, Idaho. She's a veteran vegetarian, a political junkie and a huge grammar snob. On the weekends, she can usually be found binging on Netflix, playing the piano or petting her cats, Daisy and Dandelion.

The internet sent Kesha into a downward spiral of depression, self-doubt & anxiety

Poor Kesha should have spent the last eight years being our glittery dance music queen. Instead, she's spent them embroiled in a battle for her mental health and freedom. And now that the battle seems to be drawing to a close, she's speaking out about everything she's endured and overcome.

More: We Could Finally Get Some New Music From Kesha Soon

In an essay penned for Teen Vogue, Kesha opened up about existing online as a woman and how the trolling and hate she experienced in that space affected her mental health and recovery from an eating disorder.

"The amount of body-shaming and baseless slut-shaming online makes me sick," she wrote. "I know from personal experience how comments can mess up somebody’s self-confidence and sense of self-worth. I have felt so unlovable after reading cruel words written by strangers who don’t know a thing about me."

More: Judge who ruled against Kesha had a huge conflict of interest with the case

Kesha continued, "It became a vicious cycle: When I compared myself to others, I would read more mean comments, which only fed my anxiety and depression. Seeing paparazzi photos of myself and the accompanying catty commentary fueled my eating disorder. The sick irony was that when I was at some of the lowest points in my life, I kept hearing how much better I looked. I knew I was destroying my body with my eating disorder, but the message I was getting was that I was doing great."

Luckily, Kesha is recovering with the help of time, maturity and some new coping strategies, even though that means spending more time offline and off social media. "I love it because it’s how I communicate with my fans — and nothing means more to me than my fans — but too much of it can exacerbate my anxiety and depression," she wrote. "This year I made a pledge to take more breaks from social media and screens and spend more time in nature. For me, some of the most therapeutic experiences include hiking up a mountain or riding a bike by the beach. Being among animals in their natural habitats reminds me that my problems are so small. Our lives are no more significant than the lives of any other animals. We’re all just animals, after all!"

And the glitter queen even mentioned that she is working on getting some new music to her fans, who have stood behind her through all of her years of trials. It can't come soon enough.

More: Dr. Luke Mercilessly Shamed Kesha for Her Weight

If you need some inspiration today, here's Kesha's full essay.

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