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What on Earth Are Rita Ora and Ed Sheeran Doing Together?

Chloe Stillwell is a culture critic and freelance journalist working out of Nashville. She has a writing degree from the New School, and is a UCB-trained comedian.

I’ll take my sad boy songs and my hot chick summer bangers separately, please

Ed Sheeran is a sentient beanbag who stole the soul of a puppy. But, like, a puppy with a bad attitude. Sheeran is widely discussed for having misogyny and toxic masculinity in his song lyrics. Surprisingly, he holds the No. 1 slot on American radio right now with his sexist song “Shape of You” and is about to launch a superstar-level North American tour for his new record, Divide. According to Sheeran, though, he’s untouchable because Eric Clapton and Elton John think he’s the future of music, or so he told Rolling Stone in a recent interview. (Which, honestly, although Clapton and John are legends, I don’t think they are necessarily the best barometer for the direction millennial pop is going.) Sheeran also grossly bragged about being drunk all the time, puffed up a story about being drunk with Justin Bieber and led a group of friends on a night of binge-drinking, during which he made them listen to him give a multi-house acoustic concert, which is literally my nightmare.

More: Holy Moly, Rita Ora's Suggestive Photo Is Really Upsetting Pearl Clutchers

Despite all of that, people continue to drink Sheeran's Kool-Aid. Including, now, Rita Ora. Yes, the impossibly cool British actress and singer who is the prettiest person you and I have ever seen and does things like casually waltz out of the Met ball afterparty, lazily dragging Diplo along like she doesn’t even care about him.

More: Move Over, Rachel Roy, It's Rita Ora That Beyoncé's Fans Have an Issue With

Sheeran and Ora posted a video to Ora’s Instagram today. In it, the two cryptically stare as an admittedly catchy backing track plays for a hot sec.

@teddysphotos

A post shared by Rita Ora (@ritaora) on

I’m going to go out on a limb here and posit that Ora actually fell into an alternate dimension where cruel things like this happen, and she found the password to the alien Wi-Fi and is sending out a signal for help.

More: Ed Sheeran Gives Logical but Depressing Reason for Not Kissing a Fan

But I also know that it is probably real, and in a few months' time, I will potentially listen to an Ed Sheeran song in full and maybe actually like it, because the universe is perverse.

What do you think of the Ed Sheeran/Rita Ora collab? Tell us in the comments!

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