We have all heard that actor diets suck. Chris Pratt isn't just telling us, though — he's showing us through his hilariously fabulous Instagram video series #WHATSMYSNACK. It may be the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It might even be better than Jurassic Park 2 (which Pratt is currently filming, hence the ridiculous diet).
Pratt does have it a little easier than the rest of us, admittedly, because he has a nutritionist who is packing all of his meals each day and telling him exactly what to eat. I feel like I could have a Pratt-worthy body if someone was spoon-feeding me, too. Unfortunately, as we learn from Pratt, it still isn't easy. The hunger is real. And it might be driving Pratt a little insane. Lucky for us, we get to witness his crazy.
#WHATSMYSNACK today I got cucumber and egg wrap. It's basically exactly like a sandwich but instead of bread you use thinly sliced cucumbers and instead of meat you use sprouts and chopped up eggs and instead of flavor you get nutrition. Like I always said, eating is no longer the fun part, flexing my butt cheeks in the mirror is. Cause no dimples. No rolls. Just cut ass butt cheeks. LIVE WITH IT!!! #jurassicworld2
#WHATSMYSNACK It is said that when you fast you have visions. It goes back to the Bible and probably before. It's a spiritual experience to say the least. I'm not fasting per se but I am definitely at the point in this diet where I've began metabolizing my own brain for energy. Not to brag. If your body gets so hungry you start eating your own brain matter for energy, keep going! You're almost there! It means the love handles are next! And then you will be complete. You will have arrived at the destination. And forever you will be happy. Just kidding. Don't do it. Not worth it. Go get some Doritos or skittles. Both of which have Starlord's face on them right now!!!
TURN THE VOLUME UP ON YOUR DEVICE for this all new critically acclaimed episode of #WHATSMYSNACK #cheatmeal edition. Starring Chris Pratt. Set on the River Thames in post World Two England, Chris Pratt plays lonely CIA agent Drake McGuiness, a man with a dangerous secret and a crippling addiction to dessert. Score by The Beatles. WRITTEN by Chris Pratt. PRODUCED by Chris Pratt. EXECUTIVE PRODUCED by Chris Pratt. ASSOCIATE PRODUCED by Chris Pratt. Special thanks to a CHRIS PRATT. Cinematography by @annafaris No animals were harmed in the making of this video. But 7 cranberry, currant, butter, jam, clotted cream scones got BF'd pretty hard. All rights reserved. #WHATSMYSNACK is a registered trademark. Copyright infringement is punishable by up to 500 years in prison and a $250 trillion fine. Piracy is not a victimless crime.
Forget all the body positivity stuff out there these days (I mean, don't actually forget it, but...), watching these #WHATSMYSNACK videos will make you feel so good about those extra 5 pounds. Because it means that you're actually eating real people food and going to bed happy.
Of course, this just takes me back to the age-old saying: If someone was paying me millions of dollars to get cut and eat cat food, uh, yeah, I would for the rest of my life.
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