Chrissy Teigen came downstairs to her kitchen yesterday to discover her mom, Vilailuck, casually making sausage on the counter. “What is my life,” Teigen posted on Twitter alongside the first of what would turn out to be many videos of the endeavor. We’d like to point out that there’s an empty Stella Artois on the counter, so — we all know where this is headed.
What is my life pic.twitter.com/JlsKS8hVe7— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 28, 2017
“I swear to God, I’m gonna fucking barf,” Teigen proclaimed to her mom, who was appeared entirely unfazed, calmly slinging sausages in their casings on a barstool. We see Teigen’s point, honestly.
I am. Gonna barf. pic.twitter.com/wY778AqYIm— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 28, 2017
In the next vid, Vilailuck showed off her finished product by literally dancing around singing, “Sausage queen!” and holding the sausages aloft like a prize. “Sweet baby jesus please help,” Teigen noted.
sweet baby jesus please help pic.twitter.com/mkWHT0J0y2— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 28, 2017
Next, Vilailuck reported that the sausage machine “farted” while she was trying to Snapchat the scintillating process. “Oh my god,” Teigen tweeted. Keep in mind that by this point, it was 10:33 p.m. EST, which means it was only 7:33 in Beverly Hills, where Teigen lives with John Legend and their almost-1-year-old baby, Luna, so they can’t blame this whole thing on extreme tiredness. And unless they got started early, no one was drunk.
oh my god pic.twitter.com/PN4Vze5IY0— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 28, 2017
Teigen clearly got a real kick out of the whole thing, documenting her mom’s sausage-making the way The Office was filmed, with a guerilla-style zoom-in that really drove home the ridiculousness of the whole saga.
In the next Oscar-worthy short, Teigen discovered that her mama had actually hung the sausages up on her overhead kitchen lights. “Mom, I swear to God, I’m gonna fucking kill you,” she said. “Why is there sausage on my lights?!” Vilailuck answered by screaming, “Don’t touch it!”
OH MY GOD pic.twitter.com/5aAkqPrF3J— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 28, 2017
And lest you thought that was the end of the whole thing... nope. Though Vilailuck may have finished up for the night, there was a part 2, which happened this morning. “It is fucking 10 in the morning,” Teigen announced this morning when she encountered her extremely adorable mom in the kitchen with the sausage, getting ready to cook up some breakfast. “Hi,” Vilailuck casually said, waving to the camera (and Teigen).
Oh, boy. Let’s just hope those sausages were delicious in the end.
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