Well, here we are. A new day, a new Kanye West song foisted onto the masses. However, West hasn't gone through the incredible hassle of crafting a new song. Instead, West released the 17-minute Yeezy Season 5 soundtrack titled "Bed Yeezy Season 5." The song played on a loop during his recent New York Fashion Week show; now, West is letting us soak up all 17 minutes for maximum aural effect — but you have to set up a Getty Images slideshow and press "forward" to really re-create what it was like to see the show live. If that's your thing.
Let's burst the bubble of excitement: The song's a bit of a snooze. It's...fine? It is by no means in the realm of "groundbreaking Yeezy." Instead, "Bed Yeezy" is boilerplate Yeezy, the same old-same old Yeezy, the "let's turn on our lava lamps while we make out on my mom's couch" Yeezy. This is the song you put on when you're in college and experimenting with your musical boundaries. It's Yeezy lite.
In fact, to actually give you the best reaction to "Bed Yeezy," I think the only way to express these emotions is to show you how my face and body contorted for the 17 minutes I was listening. I have a really strong feeling that your face and body will contort in a similar fashion.
Thank goodness! Finally! Some new music.
OK, this is low-key, but I can get with it.
This is getting creepy.
This is just becoming word soup, Mr. Dream, sir.
Who would want to hear "Bed Yeezy" while they have a kale and coconut face mask spread on their face in a dimly lit room in the trendy part of town? Not me.
Is he just banging away in there while Kim Kardashian West feeds North and Saint some organic apple juice and carrots with hummus?
Don't do it, bro.
This is fun.
It's been real, y'all. See you on the flip-side.
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