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Jorge and Anfisa are having a communication breakdown on 90 Day Fiancé

My work as a marriage and family therapist in Scottsdale, Arizona helps to  instill hope and change through the use of techniques including: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Parenting Skills Training, and Brief Solution focused therapy. I u...

Jorge and Anfisa need to start talking before it dooms their relationship

On the latest episode of 90 Day Fiancé, Jorge and Anfisa have an argument in which she kicks him out of the apartment. On the phone she tells him that she was angry and wanted him out of the apartment. He tells the camera that it is hard to have a relationship with someone that thrives on conflict. She replies, "You can’t fix stupid," and tells the camera that he does not realize it is difficult for her to be in a foreign country. They continue to have a conversation about her wanting to leave to go back to Russia.

More: Nick and Sonia make their final decision on Married at First Sight

When Jorge returns to their apartment and apologizes to her, she complains that he did not bring her flowers or something cute. So again we see that she is always seeking something more from him in terms of presents. He appears upset that she is not taking this conversation seriously and she tells him that she wants to go home now. She apparently expected that when she moved to the U.S. that he would give her romantic gestures like flowers. He tries to give her a hug and she pushes him away. “He needs to prove that he loves me,” she explains to the audience.

While the couple seems to have built a connection as they are about to get married soon, they do not really understand each other or feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. They lack the ability to open up better communication to get to the root of why these conflicts keep occurring with such little time left before they get married. It seems like the two have maybe formed an attraction to each other, but I wonder if they have built an emotional connection as well.

More: Jorge and Anfisa's relationship on 90 Day Fiancé seems dependent on gifts

While it is OK if Anfisa has certain expectations of presents or flowers, I wonder if she understands why this is so important to her in relationships. There is a concern that these material objects are more valuable than the relationship itself. I wonder if she is not able to communicate what is really going on with her feelings about the relationship and instead relies on these superficial elements to replace that. If she could figure out how she expects to understand love and relationships this would help. I feel like Jorge needs to do some of the same reflecting to figure out what are the elements of healthy communication. He needs to change the negative pattern that is occurring with the two during conflict. Both of them contribute to this unhealthy relationship and they need to work together to change it in order to have better communication and less conflict.

Conflict can be challenging for any couple, but especially these couples on 90 Day Fiancé since they have so little time to figure this out. If the couples can find a healthy way to communicate and problem solve, then maybe there is hope after the 90 days.

More: Sonia and Nick on Married at First Sight are struggling with communication

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