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Can any of the couples actually make it out of Paradise tonight?

My work as a marriage and family therapist in Scottsdale, Arizona helps to  instill hope and change through the use of techniques including: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Parenting Skills Training, and Brief Solution focused therapy. I u...

The vacation is about to end for Bachelor in Paradise couples on tonight's finale

This season of Bachelor in Paradise is beginning to come to a close. Chris Harrison told the four remaining couples that they need to decide if they can move their relationships into the real world where they can start considering marriage and having children. He referred to the successful couple from last season’s show, Jade and Tanner, and the potential the new couples have to live up to their standards.

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Throughout this season the couples have been referring to Jade and Tanner as their relationship goal, but that is not necessarily realistic. They are different people with unique relationship patterns far different from this glorified couple they're idealizing. While it may have worked for some, it may not work so well for others.

This show is about risk taking, falling in love fast, and getting engaged even faster. That makes time a big motivating factor that can make or break a relationship. Most of the remaining four couples have proclaimed some kind of declaration of love or wanting to move forward after they leave Paradise. Some even spoke of engagements happening in upcoming episodes. But, I wonder if these couples have had more conversations about real day-to-day life than the audience sees on the TV screen.

I hope they know what matters most about each other. That they talk about their jobs, religion, politics; meet family and friends; share future goals and values, and discuss financial issues and living arrangements. Do they know how the other handles stress and difficult times? Do they know this person well enough that love can last after the show? Getting engaged to be married is a big step obviously, but it is more than being able to get along on a beach resort while going on fun dates, and hanging out with friends. In Paradise, no one goes to work and no one has any stress. No one gets sick (well maybe Evan, but Carly handled that quite well) or has financial troubles or family problems. No one has to schedule appointments or figure out time management. No one really knows someone without having time for a relationship to develop in a natural way. It is an entertaining soap opera to watch, but these are real people with real feelings. Can they last in real relationships when they leave Mexico? I think the answer is maybe. Some couples may fair better than others. We already know that Nick is going to be the next Bachelor so his relationship did not make it out of Paradise. The three left might have a better chance if they can truly figure out their relationship development in real life. If they have genuine love I think it could work. But, real life is very different than a holiday.

Let’s watch and see who gets engaged on tonight’s final episode. From the looks of it, Carly and Evan seem to have a genuine healthy relationship since it grew not just from an instant attraction based off chemistry, but rather by getting to know each other more and more each day. Lace and Grant also seem to feel strongly about each other. So, I guess we will all see tonight who declares that they will love after Paradise.

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