The CMT Awards aired tonight and we were shocked beyond belief at how disappointing the show was. Not only were half of the performers not country artists, but the show itself only had six awards (including Social Media Superstar), women were constantly objectified and the questions on the red carpet were downright disappointing. When we thought it couldn't get much worse, Dierks Bentley — who we usually love — performed his song "Different for Girls," and that was the last straw.
We watched and listened to the performance appalled; he sang lyrics like, "They can't tape it back together with a whiskey and Coke; they don't take someone home and act like it's nothing; they can't just switch it off every time they feel something; a guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up... but it's different for girls." Oh, and there were these little gems, "She don't have the luxury to let herself go; she won't call just to curse... when the going gets tough, yeah, the guys they can just act tough."
Yup, those lyrics are loaded, so to really discuss, we rounded up 10 SheKnows editors and writers to share their real heartbreak stories, how they coped and express what they really think about Bentley's (oh, so wrong) song.
I'm sorry, but excuse me? "She don't have the luxury to let herself go." And why is that, Dierks Bentley? Because I'm supposed to be busy primping myself to find another man? I can't even believe that is a line in the song. What decade are we in right now? I deal with a breakup with the help of yoga pants, a big bottle of wine and some tortilla chips and guac. "She won't call just to cuss..." You're right, Dierks. I won't. Because I'm going to be sitting by my BFF cussing with her in person while we share that bottle I mentioned above. "They can't tape it back together with a whiskey and Coke," my ass. Now that I've gotten that rant out of the way, I'm going to go put on Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable," thank you very much, because she actually understands women. You can take your "different girls" to the left, to the left, Dierks Bentley. You must not know 'bout me.
I distinctly remember the last major breakup I went through and, hey-oh, it looked an awful lot like Dierks Bentley's new song, "Different for Girls." I called an emergency tribunal of my besties to vent about the asshole. I hooked up with an ex (who may or may not have been his cousin). I slept until noon for a week, only to roll out of bed and head out looking like something the proverbial cat quite literally dragged in. Then I turned right around, shifted the guy into the friendship zone and was onto the next. Oh, what's that you say, Dierks? Those are all the things a girl isn't supposed to do? Wait, what girls is he talking about? Oh, dear god. Is this seriously how guys think women get through a breakup? And did Dierks Bentley actually believe he was paying tribute to the female perspective when he sang this? News flash, fellas: we women aren't delicate flowers that live in a suspended state of sad wilting until the next one of you comes along and nurtures our fragile sensibilities.
I'm an editor so I thought it'd be best to show you what I think of "Different for Girls."
You know not what you speak of, sir. After a very emotionally draining, on-again, off-again two years, my first love and I officially (and for good) broke up. It was one of the most painful experiences I’d had in my short 20 years. As soon as we called it quits, I ran out of his house, jumped in my car and poured my eyes out. After 10 (actually, probably 30) minutes, I took a deep breath and announced out loud that I wasn’t going to cry anymore. I’d wasted enough tears on him, it was time to move on. Well, that was easier said than done. Over the next few weeks, I got drunk with my friends, I might have hooked up, I fast-forwarded through the pain and pushed the tears back when they came up (sound familiar?). It wasn’t different for me than any other heartbroken guy in any of those bars. I’m not saying it was right, but for a bit, I numbed my pain with a Band-Aid called liquor, cussed his name at the top of my lungs and flirted with guys who made me feel hot. Ultimately, it was the sober soul-searching that got me through the breakup (because I certainly don’t need a boy to tell me I’m pretty to believe I’m enough), but your song is just wrong. Well... either that or you’ve never met a girl like me (and every other girl I know). So, while you reevaluate your song, Im’ma throw a T-shirt on and walk to the bar because I’ve got some steam to blow off. Cheers!
I don't know what the hell Dierks Bentley is talking about in "Different for Girls," but every single time I've been dumped it's directly led to at least a 3-4 month period of partying my frickin' face off. I would drink to numb/forget, and I would hit packed bars and clubs with girlfriends to let loose and hopefully get some kind of boost for my broken ego from a random stranger. Nearly 100 percent of bad decisions guy-wise have always been the direct result of a little bit of whiskey mixed with trying to get over someone else. And if he thinks "she don't text her friends and say I gotta get some tonight," clearly he's never looked through a 20-something's phone. Which, I guess, is actually a little comforting.
Dierks Bentley, you're cute. And I get it. It's different for cute guys. They say whatever they want and rarely get called out for being wildly offensive. In an effort to help you out, I'm going to let you know your song "Different for Girls" is just wrong.
My biggest heartbreak happened in January of 2015. The end of a four-year relationship came within a week of the biggest career move of my life. It was a truly terrible time (full of whiskey and Coke, might I add). Because I wanted to be successful in my new job, I constantly "fast forward through the pain, push 'em back when the tears [came] up." Almost every day I ignored the urge to cry and instead did my best work. Not only because I'm a professional, but also because heartbreak is not at all different for girls.
When I finally ended things with my boyfriend of four years, I dusted that right off and found a suitable "Band-Aid". Oy, Dierks Bentley, you are not the only one who enjoys a cocktail to dull the whiplash of shenanigans with an ex. Us ladies don't always clutch our pearls and succumb to the vapours when our hearts get broken.
Hey, Dierks, do you have a moment to have your essentialist notions of gender disrupted? Great. When my partner and I broke up, I did in fact leave the house a mess, because a person who lives alone and prefers it that way can do things like that. I left the country for a while. I did not question my own toughness or ability to cope for a second, which involved Taylor Swift songs and very long walks and talking to people who respect individual manners of processing sadness. But thanks for the lazy lyrics, dude. Or something.
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