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Woody Allen thanked his wife for pleasuring him — excuse me while I throw up

A celebrity gossip junky, Caroline Goddard has been writing entertainment news for longer than the world has known Kim Kardashian's name. Follow her on Twitter at @GoddardCaroline.

Thank you, Woody Allen, for ruining my lunch

Woody Allen's vomit-inducing interview about his stepdaughter/wife Soon-Yi Previn reveals everything you need to know about the controversial director's conscience — or lack thereof.

Allen, who still stands accused of molesting adoptive daughter Dylan Farrow, infamously married his former stepdaughter Previn after his affair with her was revealed when she was just 21, causing the downfall of his marriage to Mia Farrow.

Now, in a new interview, Allen takes all the credit for "saving" Previn from a life of poverty — despite the fact that he wasn't a part of Farrow's life when Pevin was adopted. The entire section of the interview about their relationship is very condescending, paternalistic and frankly, creepy AF.

More: Dylan Farrow denies she made up abuse claims

"She had a very, very difficult upbringing in Korea: She was an orphan on the streets, living out of trash cans and starving as a 6-year-old," Allen told The Hollywood Reporter. "And she was picked up and put in an orphanage. And so I've been able to really make her life better. I provided her with enormous opportunities, and she has sparked to them. She's educated herself and has tons of friends and children and got a college degree and went to graduate school, and she has traveled all over with me now. She's very sophisticated and has been to all the great capitals of Europe. She has just become a different person. So the contributions I've made to her life have given me more pleasure than all my films… she's given me a lot of pleasure."

Vom.

Here's the problem: Allen heavily implies that he was Previn's rescuer and savior, but Farrow was married to André Previn at the time of Soon-Yi's adoption in 1978. Allen did not begin his relationship with Farrow until 1980, and largely acted in a stepfather role to Soon-Yi.

In 1992, Farrow discovered nude photos of a then of-age Soon-Yi Previn taken by Allen.

So to read Allen's words about taking full credit for Previn's salvation when A) he wasn't even there and B) he exploited his relationship with her for sexual purposes is super, super creepy.

More: Woody Allen says Mia Farrow's anger poisoned their daughter

And, please note, the gratitude for changing lives does not work in reverse. In fact, Allen outright says that while he completely turned Previn's life around, absolutely nothing in his life was changed or improved by her influence.

"I don't know if you could say she changed me," he said. "I don't know if I've changed. I might be the same person I was when I was 20. I'm not sure. I mean, I seem to have the same habits, the same work habits, the same phobias, the same enjoyments. I don't think I have changed much over the years at all."

Allen and Previn wed in 1997 and have since adopted two daughters of their own.

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