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Tamar and Vince's marriage isn't as perfect as everyone wants to believe

Chanel Dubofsky is a fiction writer, journalist and editor based in Brooklyn, New York. Her work on gender, sexuality, religion and reproductive justice has been publishing in Cosmopolitan, RH Reality Check, The Billfold, The Toast, The ...

Tamar and Vince tonight proved why marriage comes in all different shapes and sizes

Fans of Tamar and Vince are all about the couple's relationship. On the latest episode, the two had an argument that served to remind viewers that conflict is actually an essential part of a good marriage.

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Tamar and Vince tonight proved why marriage comes in all different shapes and sizes
Image: WE TV

In the threeish seasons of Tamar and Vince, we've seen the couple do some arguing — about having another baby, about their son Logan, about old relationships, jealousy, Vince's driving — they've even been to couples therapy. On Thursday's new episode, Vince confronted Tamar over her relentless schedule, and for good reason, since we know Tamar's health is about to take a hit. Fans, of course, are worshipful of Tamar and Vince's relationship, arguments and all.

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A reality TV show is not a great place to have a relationship — not only must it be insanely stressful to have the cameras on you at all times, but there's the fact that the show can be cut to paint you and your loved one in the worst light possible. There isn't much room to showcase the complicated aspects of your relationship, or to show that you can get through absolute awfulness, or that every time you fight, it doesn't mean you're about to break up.

Tamar and Vince certainly never shy away from an argument (some fans definitely think they argue too much), and they also aren't afraid to be real about what measures they take to keep their relationship in tack. Let's not forget that Vince is Tamar's manager, so if there's ever a dearth of conflict, they can always discuss work, where there's certainly the potential for a gross power imbalance.

As Tamar's manager, it was Vince who helped secure her new gig on DTWS, the thing she probably shouldn't have taken on, and wouldn't have if she had known how much it could compromise her health. Illness in itself is super stressful, and we know that Vince also has had health problems in the past, so in addition to having a packed schedule and a baby (who's actually not so much a baby anymore), these two are really being put through the ringer.

The point here is that all couples cope with stress and fear, differently, and while we've been told our entire lives that a good marriage involves some magical combination of puppies, sunshine and never fighting, it's not true, and it's definitely not healthy, especially in a situation like Tamar and Vince's, where their professional and personal lives are so enmeshed.

Arguing doesn't equal trouble — sometimes it's how people process, and often, what might think is an escalated conflict might actually be a communication strategy that works for the couple (within reason, of course). It will be interesting to see how Tamar and Vince adapt to this latest bout of stress in their lives, and if they can keep their humor and joy in the meantime.

More: Tamar Braxton welcomes new baby

What did you think of Tamar and Vince's argument tonight? Do you think they fight too much?

Tamar and Vince tonight proved why marriage comes in all different shapes and sizes
Image: WE TV

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