So what does all the crazy mean for Agent Parrish? So much.
So, so, much.
Before you continue reading, be warned: there are spoilers ahead!
quantico is too much for me right now— A$AP Maree (@_Chamaree) November 30, 2015
Last week, Alex Parrish turned herself in, leaving viewers wondering what this would mean for the guerrilla-style investigation she'd been running to try and clear her name of the Central Station bombing. We knew the result was bound to be bad for Parrish, but we had no idea that the Quantico writers were going to turn the drama dial to full blast!
First, it looked like the FBI was going to get tough on Alex, but with so many of her peers now on her side, we had hope. Which is probably why the writers decided to bring in a torture specialist working for the High-Value Interrogation Group (or HIG)—a totally made-up sounding task force that is actually a real-life elite government force created by Obama to utilize non-coercive methods of psychological torture to get intelligence.
Quantico's HIG isn't averse to coercion, however, and they quickly string up the show's resident hottie, Agent Ryan, in order to let the interrogator repeatedly punch him in his near-septic bullet wound. Why, you ask? Well, apparently it's so he can prey on Parrish's bleeding heart and make her confess to the bombing.
Umm, yeah... we get it, actress Priyanka Chopra is gorgeous, and no one wants to see her get pummeled by a government official, but come on! Is she really so pretty, and ABC so nervous about torturing a woman on TV, that the writers decided the HIG agent had to torture someone else with such a lame reason? I mean, If Parrish had really just blown up Grand Central Station — killing hundreds of people — how would watching the beating up her ex-boyfriend tip her over the edge?
Something smells suspicious! Really? Torture Ryan? #Quantico— Julian Garcia (@bryceps2) November 30, 2015
Meanwhile, in the past, Parrish takes pity on the man who tried to get her kicked out of Quantico, and actually helps that slimeball Agent O'Connor get cleaned up when he falls off the wagon.
During a few super awkward scenes in which O'Connor stumbles around belligerently and Parrish tells him to get it together, we're supposed to admire Parrish's forgiving nature and sympathize with the tortured O'Connor — but he isn't off our suspect list yet, and these scenes only left me wondering how someone that dumb could be in charge of the Grand Central terror investigation later. I mean, Parrish has proven herself time and again to be anything but a terrorist, and yet — without any evidence — O'Connor is the first to call her guilty.
Anyway, when she's not trying to sober O'Connor up, Parrish and the rest of the recruits are working with Dr. Susan Langdon, a forensic pathologist (played by Anne Heche) to identify serial killers for this episode's lesson-of-the-week. Langdon makes a grave mistake by including a photo of the crime scene she staged in order to catch a killer, and when Simon figures out her secret, she tries to kidnap (and maybe kill) him...
And we're supposed to believe no one else in the FBI noticed what it took Simon only one photo to see.
Of course an angry and disillusioned Simon turns Langdon in, which angers his peers, and it's this indiscretion which apparently gets him booted out of the program. Really? We've been waiting all season to find out how Simon gets kicked out and this felt like it came out of left field.
Apparently his peers' angry responses to his actions are enough to make Simon reach out to his bomber friend, though. The same bomber friend we see him talking with earlier in the season. When the two meet up, the bomber hands Simon a thumb drive full of train station blueprints... So, who's our #1 suspect now?
Soo Who is the real terrorist ???? Simon ???? #Quantico— Priyanka Chopra Fan (@TheSambitsamal) November 30, 2015
All in all, the episode was kind of a hot mess — but I still gobbled up every single melodramatic bite and can't wait for next week's helping.
What about you? Did you think tonight's episode was too much drama, or just enough? Tell us in the comments below.
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