Alliances switch, queens can up and move to a different country and alter their rule — not to mention everyone in the French royal court changes partners more often than they change their underwear.
War is also always imminent in this entertaining period piece, and fickle royalty — ahem, Catherine — aren't afraid to make heads roll at their every whim. Add in last season's black plague and the pagans that live in the woods, and viewers are left constantly sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting for the death of the next character looming right around the corner.
I mean, Catherine's decoy's lover's penis got chopped off in the first 10 minutes of the premiere, and there's no way medical science back then was swift enough to save the poor guy. We seriously didn't even see that one coming.
No one's safe, and here's who could be next.
Good old Bash is really asking for it this time around. He brought his sweet little wood nymph home to meet mom, and it sure didn't take her long to unleash the fury. Delphine already drugged Bash in the Season 3 kickoff, and we haven't forgotten about how the self-proclaimed pagan bound herself to Catherine's illegitimate son through some weird bloodletting ritual that ended in the death of a poor young boy in the Season 2 finale.
Bash has escaped death several times already in the series, but something tells us Delphine is just getting started. Could it be his demise?
She's already been branded a witch and escaped from being burned at the stake. Now Delphine's showing up in Season 3 saying she's innocent and used a special ointment to escape the fire meant to kill her. Something's fishy, but whether Delphine is really an evil witch or not, the royal court is coming for her, regardless. It'll be a bit easier to kill her if she doesn't have supernatural powers, but she's probably dead either way.
Plus, fans have already announced their disdain for the character in general, and we totally agree.
Ugh, Delphine go away. #reign— Ruby (@tvandruby) October 10, 2015
Reign's writing team is very interactive with fans on Twitter, so if they take notice of fans' annoyance, maybe they'll write her off.
Catherine already tried to sell Lola up the river last season, and now that Narcisse is in hot pursuit of Lola again in the premiere, heads will surely roll if/when Catherine returns to France. Lola's only saving grace is she seems to know what's up and is willing to resist Narcisse's charms to keep herself and her baby out of danger.
Narcisse just can't seem to keep it in his pants lately when it comes to Lola, and Catherine already fed him his own horse last season for cheating on her. There aren't many places she can take it that are worse than that, so the lord better watch his back — that is, if Catherine makes it back to the French royal court. Which brings us to...
The episode ends with Catherine being seized and caged with a very large kitty. No bueno for Cathy.
I'm going to be so done with @CWReign if they kill Catherine Please don't kill her she's the whole show— ☾ILYSFM Stephanie☽ (@StephIsMyQueen) October 10, 2015
She claims she's a virgin, and if we're playing by horror movie rules, the virgin never makes it very far. Throw in the fact that she's power hungry and the love between Mary and Francis is stronger than ever, and it all adds up to Queen Elizabeth going buh-bye. Oh, except as we witnessed in the final moments of the episode, her virginity isn't really intact, so maybe she stands a fighting chance.
The obvious choice, being that Nostradamus has predicted his doom since the beginning of the series, and we also learned last season that Francis is, in fact, dying a slow death... which means he'll probably live.
However, Francis does confess to Mary in the season opener that his bleeding and ear pain is back with a vengeance, and in real life, King Francis II did actually die from an ear infection. So there's that.
What was that thing lurking in the secret passageways that scared the bejesus out of Princess Claude and Leith? We never found out what happened to Clarissa after her murder went awry previously, so we wouldn't doubt if she's still lurking in the castle walls. But Clarissa was never long for the world, so maybe the Reign people will bring her back just to put her down.
The Season 3 premiere brought us Martin the pirate, who wears "the hair of another" around his wrist while he shamelessly pursues Greer after knowing her for all of five minutes. Ugh, please, if we had to nominate someone to die next, at this point, it would be him.
We haven't seen Conde yet in Season 3, but we do know that he's on the lam, and it sure looks like Queen Elizabeth has moved on. He certainly can't turn to Mary and Francis for help anymore, so something gives us the feeling his time is up.
One character we know is safe? Our badass heroine, Mary Queen of Scots. Long live the Queen!
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