In the PBS previews for season two of the show in the U.S. it's advertised as an adrenaline-fuelled thrill ride, with contestants sweating in front of ovens, yelling at pastries and slapping French Fancies out of each other's hands. The advert promises twice the fun… but also warns of double the consequences.
As far as I had noticed, the only consequences of the Bake Off seem to be cakes so I'm quite looking forward to this. Hide the ducklings! Tear down the bunting! Grasp your tiny blowtorch! The Great British Bake Off is here and it's about to go down.
I thought I'd join in the fun and suggest my own ideas for how to advertise this series. Marketing execs, get your notepads out…
We all fancy Tamal, right? He's entirely gorgeous, he's a veritable baking god and every time we glance at our screens he appears to be eating something. Therefore I propose an advert consisting entirely of Tamal slowly licking things off spoons, to the classic sounds of "Sugar Sugar." Show us someone who wouldn't watch that programme — I dare you.
Bake Off is famed for its innuendos. And these innuendos mainly come from the innocent mouths of hosts Mel and Sue. So why not play up this blatant raw sex appeal? I suggest recreating the iconic American Beauty image but, instead of rose petals falling on a blonde bombshell, have cupcakes gently cascading onto Mel and Sue. You certainly wouldn't forget it. Just be thankful I didn't suggest Mary, all right?
How about a baking-themed homage to Quentin Tarantino's classic Pulp Fiction? Picture a sharp-suited Paul Hollywood re-enacting Samuel L. Jackson's infamous speech beginning, "The path of the righteous baker is beset on all sides by soggy bottoms…" Can you just imagine those icy blue eyes blazing as he builds to the crescendo, "And you will know my name is Paul Hollywood when I lay my vengeance upon thee!" Before lobbing a bread roll at someone.
Here's the PBS ad in all its dramatic glory:
The Great British Bake Off continues on Wednesday at 8 p.m. on BBC1.
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