In an excerpt released from Glamour, Kaling gives her guide to gaining confidence. And though it's definitely something no one has dared to suggest before, it's also impossible to deny that she's 100 percent correct. You have to earn it.
"For the record, I, like everyone else, have had moments when I felt unattractive and stupid and unskilled," Kaling begins. "When I started at The Office, I had zero confidence... I didn't deserve to be confident yet. I happen to believe that no one inherently deserves anything, except basic human rights, and not to have to watch an ad before you watch a trailer on YouTube."
So how do you deserve confidence according to Kaling?
"People talk about confidence without ever bringing up hard work," Kaling explains. "That's a mistake. I know I sound like some dour old spinster chambermaid on Downton Abbey who has never felt a man's touch and whose heart has turned to stone, but I don't understand how you could have self-confidence if you don't do the work."
She continued, "I work a lot. Like, a lot a lot. I feel like I must have been watching TV as a kid and that cartoon parable about the industrious ants and the lazy grasshopper came on at a vital moment when my soft little brain was hardening, and the moral of it was imprinted on me. The result of which is that I'm usually hyper-prepared for whatever I set my mind to do, which makes me feel deserving of attention and professional success, when that's what I'm seeking."
And Kaling definitely isn't talking to anyone but young girls as she writes these powerful words. She is addressing the women who need to hear this the most. Because we don't deserve to be coddled, we deserve to be treated like capable people who can attain the confidence they so desperately seek without help from anyone but themselves.
Kaling adds that young boys are just expected to be confident while with girls that expectation flies out the window, even though it's so far from true.
She sums it up perfectly, "Work hard, know your shit, show your shit and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn't always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine."
Read the entire excerpt from Kaling's book over on Glamour's website. Trust me, you will thank me later.
Kaling's book Why Not Me? will be released on Sept. 15.
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