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RHOOC's Shannon Beador opens up about rewatching her husband's affair

A celebrity gossip junky, Caroline Goddard has been writing entertainment news for longer than the world has known Kim Kardashian's name. Follow her on Twitter at @GoddardCaroline.

How did Shannon Beador really feel while rewatching her husband's affair on TV?

Real Housewives of Orange County's Shannon Beador and her husband David are trying to work their way through his infidelity this season, and it is proving to be understandably difficult.

One of the hardest parts is reliving their story each week on the show, and this week's episode was very hard on her. Shannon revealed that her suspicions were first aroused when she caught her husband whispering on the phone, but he told her she was "crazy or stupid" when she brought it up — only to finally admit what was going on on April Fools' Day, of all days.

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"When watching David reveal the highs and lows in his life, I felt like I was punched in the stomach," Shannon wrote on her Bravo blog. "I saw that he listed the affair as both a 'high' and a 'low.' I heard him say that the affair gave him 'new life.' Today, I am trying to process through the hurt that I feel from his comments.

"Some moments can be difficult, but I am focusing on the positive. I remind myself of the commitment that David has made to both me and our family. He has not only made himself accountable to me, but to everyone who watches the show, and for that, I am grateful beyond words."

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So why is she subjecting herself to this public scrutiny, instead of dealing with it privately? Shannon explained that she and David hope that by sharing their own journey, they can help other couples.

"The decision was not an easy one," she wrote. "But after much counseling and discussions with our children, we thought that we would tell our story with the hope that other couples who have faced similar heartbreak can repair and restore their marriage like David and I are doing."

Watch Shannon and David continue to deal with his affair on Real Housewives of Orange County, Mondays at 9/8c on Bravo.

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