According to People magazine, in her memoir, Madison opens up about how desperately unhappy she was in the Playboy Mansion, even though it may have looked like she was having an incredible time. In fact, she was so depressed that at one point in 2002 while lying in the bath, she contemplated, "If I just put my head underwater and take a deep breath in, it would all be over."
From an outsider's point of view, she looked happy and content living her "incredibly glamorous" life, but the former Girls Next Door star revealed she had started to feel like a prisoner inside her own home.
"Everyone thinks that the infamous metal gate was meant to keep people out. But I grew to feel it was meant to lock me in," she says.
Madison spent years alongside Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt as Hefner's girlfriends, but after Wilkinson left the mansion, she did not have anything good to say about her former playmates. And now the feeling is mutual.
"For someone who was all of a sudden trying to act like she was better than Bridget and me, she sure wasn't above using us for publicity when she needed it," Madison said, according to People magazine.
So she texted Wilkinson a message about how she had been the "fakest person" she'd ever met, but the reply she received from her was enough to end their relationship forever.
"Who are you???? I don't even know you! We were never friends. It was all just work," Wilkinson reportedly responded. "After that, I deleted her number from my phone. Kendra and I haven't spoken since, and I have to say, I don't miss her."
For more, Madison's memoir is out June 23.
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