You see, despite all of the fireworks, animatronics, football field-sized chessboards, awesome outfits worn by Perry and a surprise appearance by Missy Elliott, the public was denied a glimpse of one of the most awe-inspiring aspects of the show: the super-hot guy hidden underneath a clumsy shark costume.
Yes, dancing sharks are cute and delightful and gave the "California Girls" segment of Perry's mini-concert that little extra oomph, and we're definitely not complaining that we got to see these guys dance around with glee.
We also can't help but feel Super Bowl watchers were cheated, though, because this is what was lying in wait under one of the shark onesies:
Katy Perry backup dancer Scott Myrick has come forward on social media and identified himself as one of the sharks onstage yesterday. Now that you've gotten a look at him, we're sure you're intrigued and would like to know more, because we sure did. Enjoy.
That shark is not a shark and the man underneath the shark disguise is not a really a man either. In fact, Myrick was born a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. We know this because though his man-costume is pretty intricate, it's not hiding those ninja-turtle abs.
He loves his tighty whities almost as much as they love him, but not quite as much as we love him in them.
Like, an actual banana hammock! Where can we get one of those?
Dream Dinner: Pizza Lunchable w/ side of gushers.— Scott Myrick (@Scott_Myrick) January 28, 2015
Ninja turtles do love their pizza. Just sayin'.
Do you think he taught Hugh Laurie some moves?
You could be a farmer in those clothes.
I guess when you're on tour with Katy Perry, you probably meet some pretty interesting people.
He may be gainfully employed by Perry, but he envisions a future with Disney, according to his Twitter page.
Lord have mercy.
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