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8 Times Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson looked miserable together

A celebrity gossip junky, Caroline Goddard has been writing entertainment news for longer than the world has known Kim Kardashian's name. Follow her on Twitter at @GoddardCaroline.

Jamie Dornan hates his life in these new pics, but Dakota Johnson looks fab

Dakota Johnson is a beautiful brunette with sultry green eyes and flawless skin, but when she is with her Fifty Shades of Grey costar, Jamie Dornan, they are about as hot as two dry pieces of toast rubbing together.

Each time we see them it becomes increasingly obvious that the couple has absolutely zero chemistry — and it is never more obvious than in this new Glamour shoot. Here are seven times we've noticed Johnson trying really, really hard to fake it — and Dornan unable to conceal his contempt.

More: Watch Dakota Johnson get super kinky for the Fifty Shades soundtrack

1. "Can they see the panic in my eyes?"

Johnson displays her acting chops in the new issue of Glamour by pretending she is really, really into it (seriously, this is some Meryl Streep-level skill here), but Dornan can barely contain his disgust and boredom.

2. "I shouldn't let this fart fly, but I really don't care if she smells it."

Jamie Dornan hates his life in these new pics, but Dakota Johnson looks fab


More: Ellen DeGeneres in Fifty Shades — scenes that will make you blush

3. "Could I get away with poisoning her? Because that's what this movie will do to my career."

4. "The stick shift might be lodged in my bum."

A photo posted by @christianandanagrey on

5. "Please just kill me now."

More: Jamie Dornan has a legit fear of being killed by Fifty Shades fans

6. "Maybe if I don't look at her, she'll leave."

A photo posted by @christianandanagrey on

7. "You stay on your side, I'll stay on mine."

A photo posted by @christianandanagrey on

Johnson is trying her best, but honestly, these two have about as much chemistry as a wet book of matches. Let's hope a very talented editor is able to conjure up some sparks in the movie.

8. "I wish it was time for my root canal."

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